The Way We Should See Calzona Callie & Arizona
by Calzonatequila
Summary: THIS IS NOT A STORY. IT'S MY POV. I TOOK IT FROM TUMBLR, AND I KNEW I CAN'T POST IT ON MY ACC, SO I MADE A NEW ONE. IT'S FOR THE PASSIONATE CALZONA FANS OUT HERE. IT'S THE MOST REALISTIC REVIEW EVER. Callie & Arizona both made mistakes. They are both humans who made human mistakes. See them equally and you would see what you overlooked so easily .


I See You In Another Light - _The Calzona Story_!

Why i am writing this?

Well you can skip this part incase you are not interested in knowing why i am feeling the need to write about how to see Arizona in a better light. I read blogs, fb updates, tumblr posts, twitter updates & what not everyday on where & how Arizona went wrong. How horrible a person she is. How she destroyed everything & so on when in reality the mistakes she made were quite human. I mean put yourself in the same situation and you might end up doing worse. Yeah she got some issues cause those misplaced judgements doesn't just comes from air, atleast not for level headed surgeons. Maybe that's her PTSD! But PTSD is not a disease, it's a disorder, it could be anything ranging from mere sleep depervetion to something more serious & psychic. True, it's a major issue; type of issue for which we must seek help for, but it still stays the way you react to a situation when you are stressed. It's magnified human nature, it doesn't makes one a bad mental deficit or a nut case. What's more unnerving is when some people take their crazyness to Jessica Capshaw, which in each and every proportion is thoughtless and pathetic. So, I'm gonna write about it. Everyone knows Arizona's faults but Callie made some terrible mistakes too & it's important that we know where how & why everything went wrong. The mistakes they made were quite human, more situational to be honest. Maybe you can call me a little biased to Arizona, maybe i am. Maybe I am just blindsided by love as I truely believe in it. For me, even when we give up on love, love does'nt gives up on us. I don't know, maybe i am reading way too much into a simple storyline, seeing things in hyper reality or maybe I'm seeing things in the calzona storyline what most of us overlooked or maybe it got overshadowed.

While Callie's love has always been pure, loud & clear, Arizona's love has always been underlying and deeper. I'll defend Callie & i'll defend Arizona because Calzona is all about shipping them together but having said that, it's also true that Calzona are in that point in their storyline where when you defend one, you can get a little harsh on the other one. I'm not ready to buy on to the fact that Arizona was the only one in the relationship who made mistakes. All i am saying is

_If__ Arizona failed her relationship, Callie ain't passing with flying colors either. _

This. This is a lot amount of writing on my part. While it's low on words, it's high on emotions, so give it a peaceful read. In case you are short on time, you can directly skip to season 9. If you wanna know why Arizona spiralled even after reaching a happy point in her life then skip to season 9. If you don't understand Arizona's silence, then skip to season 10. I strongly recommend skipping to season 9 for the start of the real story.

What to look for?

There would be some speculations on the future storyline for Calzona & a way more investment on what we have been through in their storyline already. Yup starting from season 5, from the very moment they met till season 10, mid season finale aka where we have been left to deal with hiatus.

I want ya'll to concentrate on certain typical character traits of Arizona & Callie, which will explain why they are the way they are. They have many beautiful characteristics but the traits I'm listing are certainly not discussed before. It will certainly help you see them in another light. It'll tell us how this affected their relationship. I don't know whether this is what the creators/ writers of Grey's anatomy wanted us to see or whether they even considered these characteristics when they write down Calzona. Maybe they did, maybe they did'nt. But it occurred this way to me.

Arizona & Insecurity!

Arizona Robbins! It's what JCap says "You always gotta imagine the backstory with Arizona"

Arizona has this character trait - She's insecure, she's too much afraid of loss.

Of course it's human nature to get afraid of loosing something precious or someone you love so deeply but i think with Arizona it was a bit much incorporated inside her. It comes from the fact that her love rans deeper. I think i noticed it towards the end of season 8 & throughout season 9 how Arizona is afraid of loss. She doesn't know how to deal with grief & loss. She tends to shut it inside her, even if it's painful. Then i went back to previous seasons, & noticed that this trait of hers is not something new. She always has been this insecure. With the progress in time & the boatload of trauma she went through it all got magnified & affected her decisions big time. SHE MAKES 'RIGHT FOR THE MOMENT' DECISIONS, without even considering how it'll affect her or her relationship. The outcome of this could be better or could be worse. We all know she always mis judges a situation when she panicks, but this insecurity, it affected her judgment too. Also she doesn't put her trust in others easily, not unless she's sure enough that the person is worth her trust. There were always two sides to her each & every action & I'm gonna write down the side we don't see easily. So i'll mention where to notice Arizona's insecurity. (AF alert)

Arizona & motherhood!

Arizona's arc of motherhood is just so beautifully written that it warms my heart. In earlier seasons we saw Arizona's ambivalence towards motherhood. It was not like she didn't like kids?! Hello! She's in pediatrics. She loves kids; there are so so so many episodes where we have seen how good she's with kids. She just believed that she doesn't needs kids to be happy. But love changed her. Her ambivalence towards motherhood got transformed into a scared parent self. I'll explain later why we need to see this.

Calliope Torres

It's what Sara Ramirez says "Callie always comes back to her faith in everything love & everything beautiful"

Callie is really pure. When I say pure I mean PURE in a big way. She's one of the most truthfully purest characters I ever came across. What's in her heart is what you'll find on her mouth. But this tends to give her a particular character trait - She skips stuffs. In a need to fix everything, to make/ want everything picture perfect, she tends to go badass & skip stuffs. The outcome of this could be better or could be worse. How this affected their relationship is what I'll try to explain. So yup ya'll will get a 'Skip stuff' alert (SK alert) whenever i want you guys to notice that she's doing that.

Pardon Me!

Well I'm a life science grad (aquaculture to be precise), a research intern. I'm not that much into writing or literature. I'm more into formulas and abbreviations when it comes to writing, so nope, no magic with words. It's just expression of thoughts. It can get a bit awful with crappy language and repetion of words. Also some scenes are disscused in past tense & some in present tense. I basically jolted it down the way it occured to me. So, I beg your pardon for my insanity.

What else?

I'm a Gemini; i can't exist without adding something fun. So incase you are in a serious mood, you can ignore my funny or rather not so funny comments in ().

Now since I don't know how to do magic with words, so i'm gonna rely upon the wisdom of words of The Meredith Grey. Her quotes to convey my point of view, my thoughts.

This is not an episode wise run down, not some recap, I'm just gonna point out certain scenes from a certain amount of episodes which tells us exactly what i wanna say. But having said that, there are certain scenes that i particularly love & I'll write down my thoughts on them too whether it has anything to do with my opinion or not.

Let's Do This

Season 5 doesn't exactly highlight Arizona's insecure side but it does introduce us to Arizona's first loss.

Season 5, Episode 24

This was the first time we got introduced to a different side of Arizona. Till this point, she was the shiny happy chief of pediatrics with a picture perfect life. Someone very strong & confident.

㈟6Calzona are in fight, Callie's all mad cause Arizona thinks it's so cool & awesome that George wants to join the army. And finally Arizona tells us why she thinks it's awesome. She lost her brother (& i don't think she ever recovered from it), who died cause there weren't enough doctors on the field.

Season 5 was more into introducing Calzona to us. Not to mention their inevitable chemistry. More into making Callie believe how Arizona could be the one for her & into Arizona's willingness to except Callie with ALL her past. So let's head to season 6.

Season 6, Episode 1 & 2

Calzona were in a very young & fragile state of their relationship. And they had to deal with George's death & Callie's job loss. Ofcourse Arizona stood by as a rock for Callie. (Donut rock! ㈴1 )

But then one day Arizona sent one of her patients to Callie (in mercy west) cause she was repeatedly failing in diagonosing him. When Callie (even she thought it was stupid & manipulative) gets back to her apartment later Arizona told her (&us) how she panicked cause she ran out of options.

Ok this one was a very small showcase of her misjudging a situation. But hey why skip it right?

Season 6, episode 4

Congratulations cause Calzona became girlfriends in previous episode. Which means they are now committed to each other.

This episode revolves around Arizona trying to convince Callie to ask her job back in Seattle Grace cause she doesn't want Callie to move away from her (AF alert)

I personally feel that Arizona has already fallen in love with Callie by this point & she's all afraid that she might loose her.

Season 6, Episode 5

Good Man In A Storm

Here we see how Arizona is raised. How she's raised to protect the things she love & how she's gonna always be protective around Callie. Here we see, how Arizona took a stand infront of Papa Torres, cuz he was all gung ho to pray away the gay. She wasn't afraid in this episode but we do see how she reacts when someone tries to hurt the people she loves.

P.s i always find it pretty amusing & amazing how Arizona declared her love for Callie to Papa Torres first (I love you daughter ㈴5) rather than Callie.

Season 6, episode 8

㈏8 Invest In Love㈏8

Happy Birthday Arizona ㇳ4

This was one of those episodes where Arizona was at her scared best. She was being pushed to do a surgery on a kid with whom she was somewhat emotionally attached. So much that she felt the need to hear it from Callie that she's a great surgeon ( AF alert). Later she picks up a fight with Callie cause she's mad that Callie wasn't there when she needed her or rather when she was scared. I loved how Callie instantly realised that Arizona is basically panicking cause she's scared. And then later when after a pretty much hard & intense day Arizona gets back home to find Callie half asleep on couch. One look on her face & Arizona is sure that if she has Callie, she doesn't needs anything else. Then comes the first declaration of love, the first I Love You's.

It's important to know here that this is the point where Callie & Arizona confessed that they love each other but whether they are 'In Love' with each other is still under wraps.

The rest few episodes of season 6 went by as relationship bliss for Calzona. It also introduced us to the sweet & cute friendship of Arizona & Teddy which blossomed with time. On the other hand Callie & Mark's friendship swelled some more.

Young love. Hot love. FRAGILE love. Pure Bliss. But then episode 17 happened.

Season 6, episode 17

Till this point we have seen how Arizona is so wonderful in handling & addressing the scared parents that come as an added input with all the sick kids, not only as a doctor but also as a mentor ( to Lexie, Cristina, Alex, Charles etc). She knows how to calm the overwhelmed parents down or how not to scare the crap out of them. It's towards the end of episode that we see what toll it has on Arizona.

㈟6Calzona is in a nice convo. Callie's growing cartilage from scratch (Cartilage goddess alert!...oops okay that's not an alert) & suddenly she has that eureka moment where the solution is not liquid anymore. She's literally on cloud nine & Arizona is nothing but happy for her. Then Callie confesses how she thinks how Arizona & her relationship is picture perfect & how she sees them together living happily ever after in a house full of kids ( SK alert)

*** There are previous instances of this skipping stuff habit of Callie's too but they were not Calzona related so i am avoiding them. ***

Arizona's reaction to having kids honestly took the fandom by surprise but then her reasoning was also well understood. Arizona literally told Callie that she doesn't wants kids in her life to be happy. She explains how for her being a parent means turning oneself into hot mess (AF alert). It was not like she didn't liked kids, that was never the scenario. Neither it was like that she couldn't be invested in being a doctor if she's a mother. She just didn't felt the need to have kids to be happy.

Season 6, episode 18

Before i go on discussing this episode, i wanna say I was never comfortable with the intimacy of Callie & Mark's friendship. And i think a part of Arizona was also uncomfortable with it. Throughout the episode you see Mark convincing Callie to talk Arizona into having kids. No! None of them thought that it's way too early to talk about kids (SK alert). The discussion went from ER to OR to cafeteria. Obviously Arizona was also noticing that Callie & Mark are upto something. So later at night when Callie goes _"This is really hard for me to say, cause i really care about you..."_ the first words that Arizona blurts out were _"Oh my god you're breaking up with me. Is it Mark? Are you sleeping with Mark again...?"_ (AF alert) - Of course there's a part of Arizona that's always scared that she might loose Callie to Mark. But then Callie tells her that she wants a baby. At some point in her life she wanna have a baby. (SK alert)

Honestly! Callie skipped some major stuff in their relationship here. And we see how even she agrees to it later.

Season 6, episode 20

Mark's on parental rush & of course he passed on that bug to bff Callie. We see how Callie is trying really hard to convince Arizona into consideing a baby (SK alert). She even went forward to touch the raw & unhealed side of Arizona's past of loosing her brother. The way Arizona reacted was quite understood. It was painful & even though her outburst was that she's not broken or some psychodrama case, we can clearly see that there's a raw patch inside her when it comes to her brother (RIP TIM!). Callie felt awful too, so she went on to admit to Arizona that she doesn't needs kids (SK alert again).

Season 6, Episode 21

The first breakup ㈵1

Callie went through a day where she realised that maybe she could have a life where she could have kids (SK alert). This happened cause she skipped major stuffs in her thought process. She totally thought that she could be someone who doesn't needs kids. And finally it took a toll on their relationship. She blurts out to Arizona how she still needs to have kids in her life. Arizona on her part is still not sure whether she could change herself for Callie. So Alas the breakup ㈵1㈴4

Season 6, Episode 23 & 24

_"You only know you are in love with someone when you are about to loose them"_

This is the thing with Callie, her love is always loud & clear. But Arizona? Her love has always been a bit timid in usual circumstances. She needs to be afraid, to be scared enough to blurt out her emotions. I think this is something very beautiful about both of them.

㈟6Callie is all mad in this episode. She has realised how much it hurts to not love Arizona. And she doesn't refrains from showing her anguish to Arizona (I'm totally hating your guts baby). Arizona on other hand actually thinks that she'll still have Callie in her life, if not as a lover then maybe as a friend. But of course that's not the scenario. So, when she finally confronts Callie about her behavior she realizes that Callie's gonna hate her forever for dismissing her dreams (that's the biggest lit of you know i ever heard of what) (AF alert). But since it's showdown time so we see Arizona voicing her thoughts for the first time. It's not like she doesn't loves Callie, it's just that she doesn't trusts Callie with her heart. And a part of it comes from Callie's past history of falling in love & failed relationships (You fall in love all the time. Man, woman). Arizona is still not convinced whether Callie will hold her ground through thick & thin.

Then Calzona have their Gary Clarke moment! And Arizona sees Callie's 'protect the things i love' side. Something she has in herself, something she admires. Callie on other hand sees clearly that she can't live without Arizona. THIS. IS. Where they know that they are 'In Love' with each other. The heartfelt emotions come to surface soon & Callie admits to Arizona that she doesn't want kids if she can't have her. Like i said, Arizona needs to be afraid to voice her emotions. The thought of loosing Callie scared the crap out of her too. And then the inevitable happened. She agrees to having kids cause she's so much in love with Callie that she can't live without her.

_** My father is not someone who bents, but he bent for me** _ In the same way Arizona bent for Callie. Most of people tend to overlook this that she agreed to change, to change for love.

Season 7

The starting few episodes were a bliss for Calzona (Pretty Pink Bubble). I just want to put this scene from episode 2 here because here Callie actually voiced what I'm trying to say. Callie & Mark are in a convo. Mark wants to propose Lexie because he doesn't feels the need to wait as we might not know what the future holds for us (true that) & Callie explains "Ok this is something what you & I do. We skip steps. I pushed Arizona into having a baby & i almost lost her, cause i skipped a bunch of stuffs..."

Season 7, episode 6 & 7

_The strength of a relationship gets tested during tough times. _

Arizona won the Carter Madison Grant (or whatever). This is something prestigious, rare & esteemed for her. But this also means that she needs to move to Africa for 3 years with unlimited funds to save babies, save lives. There could have been an easy outcome in this scenario where they should have agreed for a long distance relationship for a while (but that never happens in a drama show). After what seems like quite less of a discussion Callie agrees to go to Africa with Arizona (SK Alert). Of course Callie's hiding her bleeding heart which doesn't wants to go to Africa. At the end, the fake smile passive enthusiasm took it's toll on Arizona & she decided to call it quits with Callie (ouch!). It's important to understand here that Arizona was bothered with Callie's behavior. She got scared that Callie might ruin Africa for her (which is something very important for her & her career). She panicked & made a decision which felt right at that moment. It was to some extent understandable but still flat out rude of Arizona. It was horrifying for Callie, so she even begged to try things out but Arizona overlooked Callie's pleadings heartlessly. She thought she could separate herself from Callie just like that.

Season 7, episode 8, 9, 10

I don't know exactly how to explain these episodes without my blazing thoughts on how inappropriate Mark & Callie's relationship was. Of course it had it's own beauty but there's an ugly side to it too. So, I'm gonna take the traditional easy route out here & say that Callie's sexcapade with Mark was not completly out of bounds as Arizona broke things up with her. But come to think of it, there's corner in our heart that wanted Mark to act a little wisely & not exactly jump on bed with Callie. (Callie was drunk & was overwhelmed by Mark's thought of having a sexual cleanser to forget Arizona easily. Really? There's a universe in which this makes sense?). It was not something Callie was proud of, she was deeply hurt (true that) & she just took the easy way out (SK alert).

But then Arizona reappeared! Right there on Callie's door steps! (Hallelujah!)

㈟6Arizona is in tears, her voice is cracking up with emotions & in a heart beat she explains why she came back. How even when everything is right in her life, it feels all so wrong cause she doesn't have the woman she loves the most with her. How much she missed her!

_****Arizona took a step back! The step she had taken away from Callie, she took it back. And she also took a step back in her career. She let her career took a back seat for the love of her life. ****_

Season 7, episode 11, 12 & 13

Arizona's back & she is back with all the optimisim, enthusiasm & positivity in the world. She's all head over heels to win Callie all over again. ( AF Alert ! she's doing all this because she thinks if she doesn't puts up a fight, she might not stand a chance to win Callie back *p.s I liked this new streak in her character here*). Arizona even pulled her ace card here "Calliope"; I love how Arizona's "Calliope" always works wonders on Callie.

Then came the Cannon. Callie's pregnant (Dammit Mark). She's ready to give Arizona another chance but with the baby added in equation. Arizona's mad...really mad but it's her only way in into Callie's life so she's in. It wasn't until Arizona saw Callie's ultrasound, felt the heartbeat of their baby for the first time, that she realised that she wants this (Momma Alert! Cause this is the first streak of motherhood we see in her). Arizona did'nt refrained from voicing her heart felt emotions later to Callie (We're having a baby!). So yeah back to Calzona happiness (You think? ㈴1)

Season 7, episode 14, 16 & 17

These episodes introduced us to the dominance Mark will have on Callie & Arizona's relationship. When I say dominance, I mean DOMINANCE! Yeah we can't imagine Callie kicking him out of the equation but it was certainly not something we asked for...neither does Arizona. Certainly she was bothered with Mark's input in each & every aspect of Callie's life whether it involves the baby or not. Callie on her part was totally fair. Mark was her best friend, someone who always had been there for her. She was invested in his life as much she was in hers. If we ignore the physicality part of their relationship, then it is something really beautiful. They care for each other, have each others back, really true bffs. But obviously it's not easy to ignore something which could ruin a relationship & certainly it was not easy for Arizona either (This is not my dream...my dream does not look like this ㈵0).

Callie knew that Mark's involvement in her personal life will always have an effect on Arizona, so to mend fences she extended an olive branch...weekend at Vegas (okay not Vegas...just a stupid B&B). Mark's aching heart searched for his bff when he figured out Lexie's with Avery & Callie enroute to weekend getaway with Arizona decided to lend her emotional support. Of course Arizona was pissed, cause she actually thought she'll atleast have a weekend with Callie sans Mark (which is totally understandable). In an attempt to keep Callie to herself, to actually have some romantic 'us' time she snatched Callie's phone & threw it behind (AF alert). Callie on her part totally unbuckled the seat belt to get her phone back & accused Arizona of jealousy. And yes Arizona admited that she's jealous (AF alert), she's jealous of Mark & who would'nt be?

It's important to notice here, how Arizona's insecurities, her fear of loosing Callie to Mark scared the life outta her (Major AF alert). She realised if she did'nt make Callie commit to their relationship then she might loose her for forever & so she proposed her (right for the moment decision)... "Marry Me".

I always find people speculating on whose fault the car wreck was. Most of them end up blaming Arizona cause you know car accidents mean you gotta blame the driver. But lemme put it in this way, Arizona was in the car too AND she only sustained minor injuries. Callie was not wearing her seatbelt that's why she got fatal injuries. Either you say that both of them were at faults or none. That's how it was.

Season 7, Episode 18

㈏2Song Beneath The Song㈏2 - _The musical _

_This is one of my the fav most Grey's Anatomy episode. Performance Par Excellence!_

This is the episode where Callie & her baby almost died. This is also the episode where Arizona almost lost Callie & her baby.

Most people (almost all) tend to overlook the fact that this wasn't only Callie's trauma, it was Arizona's too. This episode was high on all the alerts. Before i start explaining this episode, i wanna make it clear that i love Mark. He's the friend, everyone would ask for (To Derek, To Callie, and To Arizona). I love the soul connection of his & Lexie's relationship but his involvement in Calzona's relationship was always bothering for me. I didn't mentioned it earlier but I'm gonna take this point to say how much appreciating & beautiful Alex & Arizona's relationship is. Friendship. How it exactly should be. Yeah there's a Mentor Student equation to it, but that only makes their friendship more deep. It's something very very PURE.

㈟6Callie was almost dead with multiple fatal injuries; there was no way to save the baby without taking it out. It was total mess. Arizona was a total basket case & so was Mark. Even though Arizona was scared, scared as hell that she might loose Callie & her baby, she kept her head strong. Even with all the agony & tears, she was determined (Good_ Man In A Strom)_. Then there was Mark, Mark with all his dominance. In heartfelt care for Callie he suggested that the baby should not be taken in consideration if it compromises with Callie's safety. And in heartfelt care for both Callie & her baby Arizona suggested that both should be saved. Both Mark & Arizona had seen Callie's bleeding heart to have a child, a baby of her own, to be a mother. It was something that has costed Arizona her relationship with Callie at a point. She knew that Callie won't survive if she losts her baby or rather if the baby was killed to save her. Mark on the other hand thought that it's a genius idea to compromise the baby & make more babies with Callie again (Seriously?). Admist the vocal war for what's best for Callie, Mark literally told Arizona that she doesn't have say in all this as it's his family, his kid (this was really cruel of him).

***_Technically they both don't have a say in this situation because legally they both __were__ nothing for Callie. Nope. Being a biological father doesn't give you any legal rights unless you claim them***_

Maybe Mark's intentions were not that harsh but it did had an effect on Arizona. She literally begged to an high on sedation passed out to Callie to live. LIVE FOR HER. (Universe &You. The beauty of this scene can never be explained in words)

***㈏2_MFEO _㈏2 _This was the first time we saw the soul connection Callie & Arizona have with each other. Cause Callie didn't responded to Derek & Meredith's attempts even when her sedation was deliberately lowered but she moved her hands, she responded to Arizona's touch, Arizona's tears.***_

Callie survived & so did Sofia Robbins Sloan Torres (Arizona saved Sofia & yeah she had to actually look up... seek Mark's permission to operate on her baby). If you notice this trauma had an drastic effect on Arizona & Mark's relationship. While previously there was a sort of sibling equation between them, after this there was a bond, a friendship (Purely beautiful thing to ever happen!). Also after this episode we never see Arizona ever complain about Mark's involvement in her relationship with Callie (trauma has this kinda effect).

Season 7, Episode 19

_**** I'm__ just gonna write about this episode because most of people just forget how Arizona was during Callie's healing process.__ Just because it was covered in a single episode doesn't mean that Arizona had it all easy during Callie's recovery.__ Also this is the episode I'll be quoting throughout season 9.__ ****_

_"__Recovery is not a team sport. It's a solitary distance run. It's long, it's exhausting. And it's lonely as hell._

_The length of your recovery is determined by extent of your injury. And it's not always successful. No matter how hard we work at it. Some wounds might never fully heal. You might have to adjust to a whole new way of living. Things may have changed too radically to ever go back to what they were. You might not even recognize yourself. It's like you haven't recovered, anything at all. You're a whole new person, with a whole new life__"__. - Meredith Grey_

Callie's healing, slowly & steadily she & Arizona are putting her back together. Patience has never been Callie's virtue; she has always been the fast forward & skipping steps type. She wants to recover ASAP, & Arizona is nothing but patient with her.

㈟6To reevaluate Callie's brain (she suffered from massive traumatic brain injury), in the healing process she gotta work with professional trainer. And she pissed many of them cause she want to heal fast, to go back to her happy life, to get married to Arizona already. The patience Arizona showed here with Callie was so commendable, even when Callie lost her temper & throwed things around, Arizona kept it calm. She even went ahead to suggest that their "WEDDING COULD WAIT" & she just wants Callie to get healed properly & completely, however long it may take ("I WANT YOU HEALED").

***_Calzona has this beauty in their relationship where when one panicks, the other acts as a magical solution to calm her down***_

Season 7, Episode 20

㈋2 White Wedding ㈋2

_...Through BETTER or through WORSE__...Through GOOD times and BAD...__ i choose YOU, to be the ONE, with whom I'll spend the rest of my life... - Calliope Toress & Arizona Robbins _

Season 8

Season 8 was basically the relationship bliss phase for both Callie & Arizona. They have each other, a beautiful baby...perfect life. Their love become nothing but stronger. The fun fights, the cuteness, the moments of jealousy made their marital journey into something purely beautiful. The understanding, the trust, the faith, the honesty they had was par excellence. You won't find Arizona shutting her emotions inside her or Callie skipping stuffs and it was basically because there was a level of honesty & understanding between them. They had each other & that was enough for them.

Season 8, Episode 5

"_You think that true love is the only thing that'll crush your heart. The thing that will take your life and light it out. Or destroy it. & Then, you become a mother__"__ - Meredith Grey_

Cristina, Meredith, Arizona. They all set out to become excellent surgeons someday & they all had their fair share of ambivalence towards motherhood. This particular episode introduced us to the bleeding hearts of motherhood of both Meredith & Arizona.

Zola had some complications which needed to be operated on. Arizona didn't wanted to jeopardize Zola's adoption process by involving MerDer in the equation & somehow this was rocket science for Alex to understand ㈵0 (basically Alex was on guilt trip for screwing up Zola's adoption in the first place). During the surgery Alex touches a raw part in Arizona's heart when he says that she should understand MerDer's dilemma as she herself doesn't have any legal rights on Sofia (Ouch!). If anything goes wrong with Sofia & Mark & Callie are not around then Arizona basically doesn't have any say on the decisions for Sofia. Arizona shuts him down but it did striked her heart where it should have. Later she asks Callie that she wants a legal paper that would say Sofia is her daughter. She's her baby, she's hers too. The panick in Arizona's voice clearly shows how much scared she is to loose Sofia ever. Like a support system Callie says yes to Arizona's babbling & assures her that there's nothing to be scared about.

Season 8, Episode 6

I particularly love this episode because in this episode what interference Mark has on the Calzona relationship, what Arizona was feeling from the very start of her relationship finally made it's way to Callie's heart. Callie saw clearly how much bothering it is to have Mark with so much dominance in her life & she finally voiced her emotions & literally told Mark to get a life his own (Please !Start having sex again !)

Season 8, Episode 22, 23, 24

Happy Time Over

These are the last episodes of season 8. Arizona is at her vulnerable best. It's quite a fact to notice that Arizona doesn't have that much amount of 'close' friends around her. Friends that have your back through everything. Alex & Teddy were the only one in her closer circle of friends. Arizona has always been supportive & really close to them.

One of Arizona's closest childhood best friend Nick is in Seattle Grace for Cancer treatment. Nick had always been closer to Arizona, closer than her family. He was Arizona's rock, someone who held her together, saved her from falling apart when her brother Tim died. Nick's arrival also gave us an insight into Arizona's grieving heart that never got over Tim's death; it was all shutted inside her.

Nick's cancer is worse than expected. Nick wasted 6 years before considering surgery & that had only made his condition worse. Callie is head strong & has tried every bit on her part to take the tumor out but when she realised that the tumor has reached Nick's heart, she knew that there's nothing more that can be done here. Surgery can buy Nick more time & that's his best bet. Arizona is angry, she's pissed on Nick that he waited so long to come to her. She walks away yelling the fact that She could'nt have saved Tim, but she could have saved him (AF alert). With Arizona not around to support him emotionally, Nick doesn't give his consent to have surgery. Callie reminds Arizona of how she should'nt leave Nick's side during this tough time _("...When things looked hard for me, you never left my side & now your best friend is asking for you...")._ That her best friend will die if she did'nt convinces him to have the surgery. Callie's words work wonder on Arizona & she convinces Nick to have the surgery but alas even Altman & Yang could'nt workout a plan to take Nick's tumor out without ending up killing him. They have to close him up without any success. Callie is lending her best emotional support to Arizona, but Arizona is broken, she's flushed, she's overwhelmed, she's tearing up with emotions, over the fact that she'll surely loose her best friend, that she's helpless, that she could'nt do anything to save him.

All the emotions, the pain, the agony, the hurt that Arizona was holding back since Tim died came rushing back to her. And when Callie found her later, Arizona literally tears up infront of her. She's scared, afraid that she might loose Callie someday like she kept on loosing everyone closer to her. She let all her emotions out (which is a good thing) & Callie held her through it.

_Arizona - DON'T EVER LEAVE!_

_Callie - What?_

_Arizona - Don't ever leave. Promise me that right now._

_Callie - I'm not going anywhere. I promise ok._

_Arizona - After my brother, I thought I can't do this ever again. I won't do this ever again. & now here I am..._

_Callie - hey whatever you can't do, i'll. I'm here & this is how it works..._

Callie was like Arizona's rock. She held her, took all her pain & acted as an support system through one of the most toughest times in Arizona's life.

Arizona was in total turmoil, emotionally over driven when she found out that Alex is leaving her fellowship for a better fellowship at Hopkins. Arizona was invested in Alex as a mentor. She nutured him, taught him & made him an excellent pedes surgeon. Any other day, and she would have been nothing but happy with the success of her student, but it was already a hard day on her & then Alex did'nt even come up directly to her first with his decision, so when she figured it out from someone else that he's leaving her for something else, it all came as a blow to her. Her rage found it's way to Alex & she literally descended upon him. A bunch of doctors (Derek, Meredith, Cristina, Mark & Lexie) were going to Boise for a surgery on conjoined twin kids & Alex, as a fellow pediatrics was scheduled to go with them. But Arizona was so pissed at him (AF alert) that she ended up throwing him off the case & off her service and decided to board the flight to Boise as the lead pediatric surgeon in place of Alex (& I'll curse this moment for the rest of my life).

The Plane Crashed. Somewhere in the middle of woods, the plane crashed. Derek's nowhere in sight, Lexie is nowhere in sight. Meredith is passed out, Cristina is moving like a zombie with a dislocated shoulder, Arizona is screaming in pain with an open femur facture, Mark is the only one kind of properly moving, the plane's pilot is one more among the survivors.

It was all so terrible & horrible. I don't think I have words to describe what the condition of everyone was in the woods after the crash. Back in hospital, Callie is already missing Arizona; she had made some intimate plans for them. It's so cute to see Callie miss Arizona so much even when she's just gone for a day, but it's saddening for us because we know where she is.

_****R.I.P LEXIE GREY. I don't think i'll ever get over her demise. I mean seriously it still feels unreal to me****_

All the doctors with all their miseries are still stuck in the woods. And they stayed there, like that, for a WEEK.

↪↪ _That's the end with the alerts. I don't think we need any alerts in season 9 & 10 to see Arizona's insecurity or Callie's skipping stuff habit._

***_ Many people tend to wonder why Arizona was so insecure in season 9, many claimed her insecurities were out of blue but if you notice closely (alerts!), she has been this insecure from the very start. With the load of trauma she went through, her insecurities reached new heights (maybe this was her PTSD). The thing is, her insecurities were never addressed, it was always patched up with promises. Until now everytime Arizona was insecure, the outcomes had been great, everytime Callie went badass, skipped stuffs, the outcomes were good. But after the traumas, this was exactly what had an toll on their relationship. ***_

Season 9

****R.I.P. Mark Sloan (_I never imagined that Mark...Mark Sloan will just leave us just like that...it's so unreal & honestly when Mark left, he took all the fun, all the happiness, all the charm from SGMW hospital & it's people with him)****_

Season 9 introduced us to whole new sides of Callie & Arizona! They both had to deal with back to back multiple traumas.

Season 9, Episode 1 & 2

_"I stayed awake for four days. I remember every single minute of those four days. The fire went out. It was really, really dark. There were so many stars. I remember getting the bugs out of Arizona's legs. Putting leaves on it, trying to keep them out. Mark. Mark! Just kept dying. So annoying. I kept trying to help him, but he kept trying to die on me. I just wanted to lie down and sleep on him because he was warm, and I wanted to sleep. Meredith was asleep. Everyone was asleep. Arizona got the last of the water. I remember drinking something bad. It might have been the fuel from the plane. I drank my pee. Noises. The animal noises. Fighting and growling right next to us, right there. I kept waiting for them to come and kill me, but they didn't. Then I realized they were fighting over Lexie. I tried to keep them off of her, I tried. But I couldn't get out. I can't get out. I'll never get out." - Cristina Yang ( This. And more horrible things than this is what happened in the woods. To all of them, Derek, Meredith, Cristina, Arizona & Mark dying seemed easier than surviving. They all were in terrible state & they all became the sole witnesses of each other's agony, fear & above all PAIN. There's no way one can even begin to imagine what they went through or what it was like to be there in the woods. )_

These initial episodes showed us the trauma both Callie & Arizona faced.

Callie lost her best friend, Arizona almost died & she had to be the one to decide to amputate her leg. She had to perform a risky surgery on Derek's hand which did'nt went well. And above all, she was not spared to grieve. To mourn over the lost causes. Because she immediately had to step up herself to save what still can be saved.

Arizona was stranded in the woods for a week with an painful open femur facture. Since the wound stayed open for so many days with bugs crawling into them, it got severly infected. Arizona was vulnerable, so when the local hospital at Idhao suggested amputating her leg, she begged Owen to take her home, to Callie. Alex was overwhelmed with guilt and he told Arizona that he wishes he could go back in time and trade places with her on the plane. Now it's pure misfortune that it was Arizona on that plane rather than him but still Arizona lashes out on him partly because she's still fresh on trauma & also because a part of her knows that even if she lashes out, Alex will stick there with her through this. Callie was scared to see this cold & agonised side of Arizona, she was scared because she can't see the bright & sunshiny woman she fell in love with. The only way she could think of getting Arizona back was through saving her leg. She had chalked out a procedure that could save the leg even if it was an risky one.

㈟6Arizona & Callie both are waiting for the infection in Arizona's leg to improve so that she can have the surgery. Arizona is still vulnerable, fearing the worst that she might not able to stand again. She's in a frazzled state when a sweet moment with her daughter Sofia makes her realise that how she has barely lived, how she still has'nt done much with her life. How she & Callie still hav'nt bought a house of their own. And the only way she thinks she can live her life is if she gets to stand on her feet again. She literally tears apart in front of Callie, begging her to save her, save her leg. For her Callie is the only one who could save her. Callie did what she does the best when she sees a falling apart Arizona, she held her with a promise. She made a promise, promise that she won't let anyone amputate Arizona's leg.㈟6

I don't know, to me it always feels like there's more to the amputation story. I'm not a doctor but i'm a life science major & the basic protocol to when a body goes in septic shock is to put in an shunt. Restrict the blood transfusion through the infected organ & try keeping the organ viable separately. In Arizona's case, they did mentioned that the infection was improving & that's where I wish it was'nt Callie & Alex on the deciding side of what to do when Arizona's body went into septic shock (Where were Webber & Bailey? The best general surgeons). Maybe it was'nt like that at all, maybe amputation was Arizona's only option. And even if Callie made a wrong call in deciding to amputate the leg, she's not to be blamed here because she was not the doctor here, she was a wife. And she decided what was best for her wife.

Arizona's agony is understandble. She lost her friend, she got into a plane & the plane crashed, she was stranded in woods & then she lost her leg. While everyone else who were traumatized with the plane crash got their fair share of venting out (MerDer to each other, Cristina to Owen), Arizona got slamed with another trauma. So instead of dealing with it, she spiralled down to a state of agony. Also she knew very well that if there's anyone who'll handle her wrath & still hold her ground then it's Callie.

Season 9, Episode 3

Now people always say that Arizona should be thankful that she's alive unlike Mark & Lexie who were dead. Let me put it in this way, Mark & Lexie's miseries ended right away when they died. But for Arizona, well she was challenged both physically & mentally for life. There's a trauma she can't forget, because there's always gonna be a reminder in her own body of what she went through, of how it was to be in the woods. She can't forget it even if she wanted to plus the leg, it's never gonna be the same with prosthetics or whatever other options she takes up. Everything, anything anyone does to help her will remind her of her incompleteness. She's challenged. Challenged for the rest of her life.

This episode circles around the plane crash lawsuit. The survivors and their loved ones have to decide between taking a large cash settlement or forgoing the money, for now, and enduring an investigation and a drawn out legal battle

_"Of course he's going to push you away, because he hates being vulnerable. But that's when he's going to need you to stick with him the most." - Meredith Grey_

Arizona is still in defrazzled recovery state. The only way she could deal with the pain & hurt is through agony. It's the only way for her to fight the pain. And the only one who can understand her agony is Callie. So Arizona lashes out on Callie, blames her for the amputation even if it was to save her life, because this is not the life she wanted, her life is now a dissapointment for herself. Callie on her part knows that the only way she can deal with her own pain of loosing Mark & Arizona's agony is through saving what she can still save & that's Arizona. She knows she has to be the strong shoulder, one who'll keep the boat afloat. So she takes it all head strong, all the blames, all the pain, all the hurt she takes it all head strong. But she also realises that she needs to make Arizona believe that she's not in this all alone by herself, she's there for her. That she's a fighter & that they should together fight for justice.

㈟6Callie comes home to find Arizona sitting on the bathroom floor. Arizona tells her how she could'nt reach the bathroom to had by herself. And once again she blames Callie for choosing this incompleteness for her, this life for her. Callie breathes in into the blame games, picks up Arizona & takes her to the shower. And when Callie breaks down infront of Arizona telling her how she has nowhere else to go, how this is her life too ("I have nowhere else to go. This is my life now too"), something twitches inside Arizona & she realises that she's still needed, that even if she's incomplete herself, she's still the one who makes Callie complete, that it's not just HER life, it's THEIR life now. ㈟6

Derek, Meredith, Cristina choose not to settle down & file a lawsuit for justice. While previouly Callie wanted to settle because the money could mean a secure future for Sofia, something she would like to do for Mark, later she realises how it'll be an injustice to both Mark & Arizona, so she chimes in with a heartbreaking "You're not one of us" & also chooses not to settle!

***_ Sara Ramirez & Jessica Capshaw's performance was hands down par par beyond excellence in this episode. They shined as terrific actresses in all the bittersweet scenes. The shower scene puts me in tears & gives me chills down my body everytime I watch it. The modulations Jessica Capshaw brought in to potray this side of Arizona is commendable, The way Sara Ramirez potrayed those emotional scenes was terrific, totally EMMY worthy.***_

Season 9, episode 4

**** _The Calzona necklace ~ it's the necklace that both Callie & Arizona gifted each other on their first valentines day together (The heart shaped necklace also holds each heart in the fandom a hostage). It's symbolic to their love, trust, faith & bonding. While a little disruption in faith & bonding made Arizona take it off, it made it's way back to her when that bond was restored****_

_"Recovery is not a team sport. It's a solitary distance run. It's long, it's exhausting. And it's lonely as hell. "- Meredith Grey (07x19)_

In the calzona storyline, this episode is focused on Arizona adjusting to a new life...a life with prosthetic.

Now it's not easy for Arizona both psychologicaly & physically to compensate for a loss that is so visible in her body. Yes, there's a part of her that is trying it's best to move forward but there's also a part that makes her feel ashamed, ashamed of her incompleteness. The later pushes her to a low self esteem zone which forces her to hide. The only way she could cope with this low self esteem is through hiding. The good thing in this is that she's not hiding away from Callie; she's just hiding away from the rest of the world.

㈟6Arizona is in the hospital for her first session with the prosthetic doctor (idk what they call it ㈵4). It's sad. It's painful. Not just physically but more importantly mentally & psychologically. Psychologically, cause even the prosthetic is a reminder for her that she's handicapped. It makes her feel more vulnerable & obviously she hates being vulnerable. Callie's doing everything on her part to make sure Arizona is comfortable with whatever she's doing. She's not pushing her to normalcy. She's making sure that nobody at the hospital knows Arizona's there but Alex finds his way. Now since he's as much concerned about Arizona as much Callie is, so he has to see her, to see how her leg has healed, whether he has done a good job with the incisions or not. Callie shoots him down with "I made the call okay. I was supposed to protect her. I'm the bad doctor. The bad person" & Alex realises that Callie is taking all the blames that Arizona is slamming for the amputation all on herself. He finally finds his way to Arizona & tells her something she wanna hear very badly. That she's needed ("We need you back"). It's a little boost to her esteem & that's why it's calming for her. On his way out, Alex reminds Arizona that Callie's trying too. The realisation, that even though it's hard on her, it's not easy on Callie either makes her call it a truce between them. Arizona finally takes her first step forward towards a new life & leaves the bitterness & coldness that has somehow made it's way between her Callie behind.㈟6

Season 9, Episode 6 & Episode 7

These episodes belonged to Arizona's way back to work. Now obviously it's not easy. From someone who's used to zoom her way to work on roller skates, to be someone who needs to limp her way to work on a cane...it's humiliating, it's painful, it's hard. All she wants is it to be a bit perfect...even in all it's imperfections.

The Bailey Magic

_"She (Arizona) is like a little bird, you push it too hard & you'll scare her away"_

All it required was a little motivation, courtesy Bailey, that made Arizona take one step forward towards work.

Arizona is strong & that's how she wants everyone to see her. She's willing to bear the pain of standing long hours on her prosthetic rather than show the world that she's vulnerable or fragile. Her happiness lies in being strong, in gaining the self esteem she has somehow lost...in getting back up on her feet. Slowly, Steadily. The only goal she set out for herself is finding happiness in this new life of hers. In falling in love with this version of herself again. You can see the content & happiness on her face when she gets through her first day back at work. It was painful, it was not easy but the fact that she took a step towards herself was enough for her.

****_Power Pack performance by Jessica Capshaw. The scenes with the prosthetic were so powerfully potrayed by her. It conveyed those exact amount of pain & happiness. Spot On!**** _

Season 9, Episode 9 & Episode 10 _(Doomsday Part 1)_

_****Honestly most Calzona fans find these episodes as the most romantic ones as Calzona rekindled their romance a bit here but for me this is where the real damage was done****_

_**"The length of your recovery is determined by the extent of your injury. And it's not always successful. No matter how hard we work at it. Some wounds might never fully heal. You might have to adjust to a whole new way of living. Things may have changed too radically to ever go back to what they were. You might not even recognize yourself. It's like you haven't recovered, anything at all. You're a whole new person, with a whole new life." - Meredith Grey (07x19)**_

Spontaneity is what keeps a relationship alive. But patience is what keeps it real & truthful. The patience Callie showed this far was sureal. Truely commendable. But patience had never been Callie's virtue, she always want to go to that happier place in life where's everything is picture perfect. She's the badass skipping steps type. Honestly there's nothing wrong in seeking happiness. It's human nature to try to be happy but still a little more patience would'nt have done any harm.

㈟6 Bailey's getting married and she has made Callie, Arizona & Meredith her bridesmaid. Arizona is not comfortable with the idea of going to the wedding as she still can't wear heels. She's trying but she still has'nt reached that place where she feels beautiful in her own skin (well it's not boot camp. She can't just fast forward her healing process). Callie on the other hand is happy with her 'tiny less beautiful' wife & convinces Arizona to go to the wedding. But till end point Arizona could'nt talk herself into going to a wedding wearing flats, so she tells Callie that she can't go & the dam of Callie's patience opens it's flood gates right on Arizona.

_Callie -" Trust me! I'm intimately familiar with what's going on & i'm over it. You are exactly the same person you were before just minus a leg."_

_Arizona - "You think it's nothing?"_

_Callie - "Oh no no it's everything. You know what it has been for months & I have been supportive for months. But there comes a point where you have to suck it up and stop whining and start living _( "I want you healed" - Arizona (07x19))._ Ok, so you have one leg. It's a wedding. And weddings are sweet and beautiful and no one is going to notice the stupid leg because everyone is going to be looking at Bailey and maybe for one night our lives can be about something other than that damn leg. My whole life is about that leg. I haven't had sex in five months because of the leg _( "The wedding can wait" - Arizona (07x19))._ Enough about the leg!"_

Yes Callie's intentions were pure. She just wanted to move on already but she should have understood that Arizona just can't fast forward her healing process. Not when she was still in pain. Not when she was still using a cane to walk. The outbrust did worked, as Arizona cooed her flats & went to the wedding but it also reaped the seeds of insecurities in her. She realised that Callie wants Spontaneity. And when at the wedding Callie told Arizona that she had suggested Bailey that she should run away _( "Well I kind of said that Marriage is like a dance of death and that leaving him at the altar would be painful but efficient way out" ),_ it scared the crap out of Arizona as she figured that Callie might also runaway cause of the tough times they are facing.

Ofcourse Callie was just kidding with Bailey. Pulling the leg of a jittery bride, that's something we all do. But the fact that she even had that thought was enough for Arizona to wonder whether Callie's having the same thoughts about their marriage too.

In an desperate attempt to bring back the fun & Spontaneity in their relationship, Arizona booked a room at the wedding venue & told Callie that she's ready for some action. The idea was obviously enticing & thrilling for Callie. But the moment they get into the intimate proximity of each other, Arizona realised how she's still not comfortable with the idea (She tried ㈴4㈴4). Finally she told Callie how she feels _"I'm sorry Callie. I wanted to be spontaneous and fun, but I can't, and I'm...I'm so sorry, Callie. I'm not ready. Please don't be mad_." Callie senses Arizona's discomfort & realises that she has scared the bird. To soothe things out she calls room service & orders champagne suggesting Arizona that they could just chill out. Arizona on her part brings in the honesty and admits to her fear of loosing Callie.

_Arizona - Callie! Please don't run!_

_Callie - WHAT?_

_Arizona - It's all been awful. And I have been awful. But I 'm just trying to feel like myself again. And I know not everything can be about my leg all the time...but right now it's just it is. But I CAN'T LOOSE YOU. SO PLEASE! DON'T RUN"_

_Callie - After the car accident, you never left my side. Not once. THERE'S NO WAY I'M LEAVING YOURS._

Arizona literally begged Callie to be patient with her & yes Callie totally comforted her. She realised that they can't just rush things even if they want to. She did what she does the best. She held a falling apart Arizona with a promise...promise that she'll never leave Arizona's side. (Lemme count the no. of times she promised that) ㈟6

**** _The damage done is the damage done! Callie's impatience had made Arizona realise that she can't count on her low key slow healing process. True she's also counting on Callie's promise but she now knew that she can't slow down. So she stopped her real healing process right there, right at the point where she's still on that incomplete low self esteem zone, right there where she doesn't feel beautiful in her own skin, right there where she's not enough for herself, right there where her incompleteness is an embarassment for her. Instead she started a new quest, quest to be Callie's wife, quest to be beautiful in Callie's eyes, quest to find her happiness in Callie's happiness. And Arizona was also willing to go to extreme measures to attain this new goal she set out for herself, starting from hiding her physical pain to hiding her inner turmoil. This also embarked the last of honesty between Callie & Arizona. ****_

➡_P.S. Most of the people always speculate on how Jessica did'nt justified the kiss. Well I think it was supposed to be that way, desireful on Callie's part and a bit timid on Arizona's part. So basically both Sara & Jessica justified it well._

Season 9, Episode 11

㈟6All the victims of the plane crash had won the lawsuit they had filed against the hospital. As a compensation to their sufferings the insurance company had to give them ㈑815 million. EACH. Callie suggested that this is their victory and they all (Derek, Meredith, Cristina & Arizona) should have little dinner party to celebrate it. It comes as a shock to everyone else as nobody is ready to celebrate over their miseries, but finally courtesy Callie, they were all able to take a step forward towards happiness & life.㈟6

The way Callie elegantly pulled everyone towards life was really something beautiful. She taught them how to cherish what they have and forget what's gone. But this also tells us that Arizona had deliberately spared Callie the dark and gory details of the plane crash. For Callie it was the aftermath of plane crash that was traumatic, not the plane crash. (I bet you guys figured out exactly where i'm going with this. We will go there soon).

Season 9, Episode 12... _Start of a new quest..._

_"Patients who undergo an amputation often feel a sensation where the missing limb was as if it's still there. The syndrome is called phantom limb. It's as if the body can't accept that a terrible trauma has occurred. The mind is trying to make the body complete again. Patients who experience phantom limb report many different sensations but by far the most common is PAIN." - Meredith Grey_

㈟6Arizona is suffering from the phantom limb syndrome. As much as Arizona tries to suck it up, her phantom limb syndrome is getting worse. At first it was only occurring at night, but now she's in so much pain during the day that she's stumbling at work and having to limp out of surgeries. Owen encourages Arizona to reach out to Callie since she's an orthopedic surgeon but Arizona doesn't want to bother her.

Arizona explains, "_I have been her (Callie's) patient for so long and I'm just starting to feel like a wife again and she needs me to. I cannot have it! I am finally getting my life back together, and I will not be screwed over by something that's not even there."_

Like I said she started a new quest, she was not trying to be herself; she was trying to be a wife...Callie's wife. She choose the struggle, the pain, the turmoil all on herself for Callie's happiness. From waking up with unamountable pain at the middle of the night to sleeping on bathroom floor with a mirror between her legs, Arizona did it all to hide her pain from Callie.

_"The body can be stubborn when it comes to accepting change. The mind holds out hope that the body can be whole again and the mind will always fight for hope, tooth and nail. Until it finds a way of understanding its new reality and accepts that what is gone is gone forever."_

Season 9, Episode 13 - 17

In the Calzona storyline, these episodes revolved around the aftermath of winning the lawsuit and facing a new struuggle - Bankruptcy!

㈟6The insurance company found out a loop hole in the lawsuit & now the hospital had to bear the expenses of paying the victims. Obviously, the hospital did'nt had that much fund, so it was under a dense cloud of shutting it's door for forever or get merged with another buyer, the corporate owned Pegasus! Callie on her trip with Richard to one of the other previously merged hospitals figured out that Pegasus would only take SGMW downhill; it won't be a hospital that supports efficiency & research projects anymore. She suggested MerDer & Arizona that they should try to buy the hospital themselves. Arizona was skecptical with the idea first, as she had learned it the hard way that nobody knows what the future holds. Like Callie & Bailey previously, she also lashes out on Derek as he was the one who convinced them against settelment. But later with Bailey's notion of quitting, she agreed to join in into the idea of buying the hospital. Obviously it was not an easy thing to do. To immediately stop Pagesus from buying SGMW, Derek, Meredith, Cristina, Arizona & Callie all proposed their resignation. And as ofcourse it was not just buying grocery, they all figured out that they need a heck amount of more funding to buy the hospital. They even tried to lure in a Richie rich but it all went in vain. For a moment they were all in a scenario where they were out of jobs & the hospital they worshiped was liquidating to parts. Callie was worried, cause the whole ground under them was shifting, Arizona calmed her down with her 'good man in a storm' attitude - _"We have each other. And we have a beautiful baby...we can go wherever we want"! _

At the end, Debbie Allen, Catherine Avery came as a rescue angel with Harper-Avery foundation's funding and saved SGMW from bankruptcy. Our fantastic five ( Merder, Calzona & Cristina) became the fantastic seven ( + Richard & Jackson) who saved the hospital & also became the board members who will run the hospital. ㈟6

WELCOME TO "GREY SLOAN MEMORIAL HOSPITAL" ya'll!

Season 9, Episode 18 - 21

ㇳ8ㇳ9ㇳ8ㇳ9 Happy Timesㇳ8ㇳ9ㇳ8ㇳ9

㈟6Arizona has got a new prosthetic leg that allowed her to wear high heels and that was her one more step towards progress. The heels made her feel beautiful & her happiness to be desireful for her wife was written all over her face. But alas! The heels also brought in the pain. Callie & Arizona have had a tumultuous day. Earlier, Arizona had announced that tonight would be the night to finally have sex. Callie was on cloud nine until she found Arizona complaining about her leg again, she tried to extend her help but Arizona turned her down as she was trying this hard only cause she wanted to succeed as Callie's wife _("You're not my doctor, you're my wife")._ Callie assumed that her wife would no longer be in the mood to be intimate later, so she voiced her frustration and walked off. Arizona on her part tried her best to hide away her pain. She stood on those painful heels all day just proove herself & Callie that she can get through it.

Finally (for heavens sake) Callie saw what she should have seen way before, that Arizona is hiding away her pain. She reached out for her wife more convincingly; it was obviously a bit discomforting for Arizona at first as she thought that she might fail in becoming a wife. But this time Callie had approached Arizona in a more beautiful way, a way that undid her ("Hey! Right now I 'm Doctor Torres!). She helped Arizona remove her new prosthetic and massaged her painful leg. This act not only made Arizona feel physically better but it also brought the two women closer.㈟6

****_This particular scene was so beautiful that it's purely heart warming. And the way it was enacted was overwhelming. Hands down one of the best scenes of season 9****_

The intimate massage finally made it's way from the xray room to the bedroom & finally Calzona rekindled their romance. Hallelujah!

From getting intimate to finding happiness in each others happiness, Calzona gained it all.

SEASON 10, EPISODE 9 FLASHBACKS! (_Doomsday part 2)_

_****Honestly I don't even need this baby trauma to explain Arizona's fall which was an impending disaster bound to happen. Post crash, she could'nt set out to be herself, she never found happiness in her own self. She found happiness in Callie's happiness, so she was basically like a time bomb; it was just a matter of time & a fluid situation that could have easily affected her. But since we're going according to the storyline...so lets do this****_

㈟6The flashbacks in this episode takes us to the happy phase in Calzona's life that we're at now. The happiness they have reached here is really heart warming & overwhelming.

At Meredith's baby shower Arizona chipped in a beautiful thought in Callie's Mind of having another baby. They both had an hard year, they both seeked happiness. Happiness in a new life. Arizona even went ahead with the idea of carrying the baby herself. Now, she had lost so much, she just wanted something to be happy again. She deserved that happiness. Callie & Arizona even went ahead with considering buying a house to extend there family (Awwww!). But Alas! The queens of misfortunes lost their baby!

It was obviously traumatic. Traumatic for both of them. There's even a limit of loss and grief that one can handle, and the way they reacted to the situation was quite understandble on both their parts. Callie wanted to move on, to seek happiness again. Ofcourse she felt bad about loosing their kid & the best way out, of dealing with the grief for her was to move forward. Arizona on the other hand, could'nt even think about exposing her heart to another loss. The universe kept screwing her, obviously she's sure that if she seeked happiness again, she'll be screwed again (do we blame her?).

_Callie : I cannot believe you are trying to pick this fight right now_

_Arizona : I am not trying to pick a fight. Im trying to tell u how I feel_

_Callie : Okay well I feel like crap too. It wasn't just your kid_

_Arizona : I know. I know that_

_Callie : We'll just wait. We don't have to try again right away, all right? We can wait a while before we try again_

_Arizona : No, no, you're missing the point. I can't take another loss, Callie. I can't handle it. I can't think about this right now. It's too hard...it's just too hard_

_Callie : What are you saying? You don't want another baby? Answer me._

_Arizona : I don't know._

Arizona started the arc of her motherhood with ambivalence. There's a part inside her that's scared. Honestly speaking, even with those totally pure intentions, we can't deny the fact that Callie pushed her. In the same kind of situation, when Meredith & Derek realised that they may never get Zola back, Meredith reacted exactly the same way Arizona had reacted ("Zola was our baby. If we can't have her, I don't want another baby), but Derek supported her. He said "We will be fine. Just you and me" & that's exactly what Arizona deserved at that time. Come to think of it, when Callie & Arizona were on the verge of loosing their jobs and the ground beneath them was shifting (bankruptcy), even Arizona extended the same kind of support, _"we have each other & we have a beautiful baby. We can go wherever we want". _All Arizona wanted from Callie was a bit more patience, a bit more compassion but nope she did'nt got any.

Now, after the plane crash, when Arizona figured out that she can't count on her slow healing process, she set out ,like I said earlier, a goal for herself. And that goal was to find happiness in Callie's happiness, to be Callie's wife, to be beautiful in Callie's eyes. But when she lost that baby, she failed to conquer the one goal she set out for herself post the crash. So, she spiralled down exactly where she started from. Now if she would have been spared some time to be herself, to deal with the trauma instead of shutting it inside her, than this must have been an whole different scenario but that did'nt happened. The loss and grief was so much that all the steps she took forward disappeared and she was on the starting point again. Callie held Arizona's ground after the plane crash and post amputation. She became that support system for her. But when the miscarriage happened, I think it was too much on Callie too, she could'nt become that supporting ground for Arizona. And Arizona went downhill to her zero self esteem, incomplete, vulnerable self. With the lack of emotional support, instead of dealing with the grief and loss, she did what she had done with her other losses. She shut it all inside her. The pain, the agony, the wrath, the hurt, even if it was tearing her apart, she kept it shut all inside her.

Infidelity - When did it happened?

Well I did some math to add up the timeline (Grey's timeline is basically one of the most hardest thing to add up). I'm taking the upper limit in every scenario, so that we're exactly the closest to the actual. - Well Callie did said in 10x09 (current time) that her wife went through the amputation last year and that the infidelity happened couple of months ago. So lets take here 12 months max. Say the plane crash/ amputation happened in January and the infidelity in October. Mark stayed in comma for a month. So that brings us to February, lets assume even Meredith got pregnant in Feb. The baby showers usually happen in the 7th or 8th month. Let it be 7th, so it's August when Calzona decided to have another baby. One more month minimum to Arizona on realising she's pregnant (she figured it out on the first day late). So we're on the 9th month, September. Now the baby to be atleast, atleast worth sonography has to be 8 weeks old, so that brings us exactly to the 10th month, October. Lets agree that when Arizona figured out that she has miscarried her kid, it was her first sonography. So, we're on the 10th month aka the last month of Meredith's pregnancy when the miscarriage happened. And the infidelity happened on the day Mer deliverd her baby (i'm not even counting that Mer delivered her baby 2 weeks prior to the schedule date). So, to sum it up, the infidelity happened within days or a week maximum of Arizona's miscarriage.

Season 9, Episode 22 & 23 (_Doomsday part 3)_

****_For me anyone who hits on a married woman is a whore (that's for you Lauren), But to be very clear, there's no universe in which i'll justify an infidelity. It's deception, it's betrayal, it's flatout wrong, it's the biggest mistake one can make in an relationship. So, no I'm not granting Arizona any innocence. But I do have something for her defence. No, miscarriage doesn't justifies infidelity, neither does plane crash, nor loosing a organ but it does explains Arizona's turmoil when she made a bad decision.****_

Sometimes we reach a point in our life where we feel low about ourselves. At that point we get disgusted with ourselves because we can't love our own self. The first step of loving someone else is to be in love with our own self. But when we don't love our own self, when our own being is a failure for us, we get detached from the people we love because they remind us of our failure & it is at that point that we get attracted to new things...new people. And that's exactly what happened with Arizona.

Now we were just too disgusted with the idea of Arizona getting attracted to someone else that we never dweled on how Lauren Boswell (I prefer Whoren but since it's Hilary Burton & I loved my Peyton tree hill...so lets just stick to Lauren) happened. She came as a breath of fresh air in Callie & Arizona's life (oh god did I just said that ?) . They were both trying to move on from grief in their own way & that's when Lauren happened. Initially both of them were smitten by her ("I'm little bit in love with her"), Arizona a bit more cause obviously Lauren was repeatedly hitting on her. Lauren was total smartass, she immediately picked up on Arizona's Vulnerablity & made sure that Arizona knew that she's making a move, that she's attracted to her, that she's interested in her. It all came as a surprise for Arizona. She was amused how someone could be attracted to her, how someone could like her when there's nothing worth liking in her. So, she developed those fluid emotions, not for Lauren, but for the notion that she's still desirable.

_"The adrenal system reacts to stress by releasing hormones that make us alert and reactive. The problem is, the adrenal system can't tell what's a regular case of nerves, and what's a real impending disaster._

_The body doesn't know the difference between nerves and excitement, panic and doubt, the beginning and the end. The body just tells you to get the hell out. Sometimes you ignore it… That's the reasonable thing to do. But sometimes you listen; you're supposed to trust your gut. Right? " - Meredith Grey_

When Lauren made her final move, Arizona reacted. Not with her Mind, Not with her heart, Not with Soul, BUT with her body ! It was one of the most weakest moment in her life. She made the most horrible decision she could ever make. She cheated. She cheated on Callie.

_**** I got those feelings too. You know the disgust, the wrath, when Arizona cheated, I had them all. I mean she was supposed to be "The Good Man In A Storm" right ? It was just so horrible that I could'nt understand a thing. It was'nt until I was willing to understand, that I realised why Arizona fall apart. Yes. She should have been the good man but how do we suppose her to hold her ground when she keeps getting hit by storms. REPEATEDLY. In a single year, She survived a Tsunami (Loosing a friend), then she survived a Typhoon (Plane crash), then she survived a Hurricane (Amputation), her ground gave away when she finally got hit by a Phailin (Miscarriage). Ask me, for me even Lauren was a storm. How can we expect her to get out of every storm that was thrown her way with perfect feathers ? Nope she's not Hercules, she can't stand strong through every storm. She's human, she was bound to fall apart. She's was bound to make mistakes.****_

_You know most people blame the writers/creators of Grey's Anatomy about this out of blue storyline, but honestly speaking what would have been out of blue, was if Arizona would have gotten out of this storm unaffected. It was the most realistic thing that had ever been done to her character. Obviously I wish it would have been anything but infidelity, like a downfall in career or something like that. But...it was infidelity ._

Season 9, Episode 24 (_Doomsday season finale)_

_"Even good marriages fail. One minute you're standing on solid ground, the next minute- you're not. And there're always two versions. Yours, and theirs. The both versions start the same way though. They both start with two people falling in love. You think yours is the one that's gonna make it. So it always comes as a shock. The moment you realize it's over. One minute you're standing on solid ground, the next minute, you're not." - Meredith Grey_

Callie And Arizona Showdown

Like I said before, the damage done, is the damage done. The showdown was the unleashment of their unfiltered feelings. The words were more towards the situation then towards each other. Obviously, they did'nt meant it. The infidelity was as much a trauma for Arizona as it was for Callie, just because it were her hands that set fire to the things, doesn't means that it was easy on her, infact it's the opposite.

Callie's dilemma was understandble. She kept on giving her life for love and love kept on failing her. She did'nt deserved it, she did'nt expected it. It all came as a shock to her. Everything she ever believed in was turning out to be a lie. The woman she loved the most, in the world, had betrayed her. It shook her to the core. Like her love, her dilemma was also loud & clear.

Arizona's dilemma? Well you can't understand her dilemma, unless you're willing to. Her dilemma was inside her, underlying, tearing her apart. She had failed. Again. And then she was being confronted by Callie with all the "How's". To Callie's every "how", she had an "why" for herself. ( I'll try to put, what must have been Arizona's whys for herself).

Callie: (crying) I thought, I thought we were past the hard stuff. I thought we were finally good.

Arizona: We were, we are.

Callie: WE'RE MARRIED!

Arizona: I know!

Callie: God! We have a child!

Arizona: I know!

Callie: How could you do this?

Arizona: I don't… I don't know (_she literally doesn't know how it all happened. So she asks herself why it happened )_

Callie: After all that's happened this year. After everything we've been through, everything we've survived. Bankruptcy, Mark, the plane.

Arizona : _(The first answer that comes to her mind on why she's in that position and not Callie, is pretty much straight, it was because she was in a plane crash & Callie was not. Callie did'nt experienced what she experienced in the woods) _(screaming) NO, NO YOU WEREN'T ON THE PLANE, CALLIE! You weren't in the woods! You did not hear Meredith crying for Lexie, Mark moaning in pain or hear me scream in pain! You weren't there and you keep acting like you were but you weren't. It wasn't your experience.

Callie: I lost Mark. You almost died!

Arizona : _( When Callie compared her loosing Mark & almost loosing Arizona to Arizona's experience of being through the plane crash, Arizona was upfronted with another why ? Why she would be the one falling apart when they both went through the same type of trauma. The answer that crept into her mind this time was again straight forward. It was because she lost her leg & Callie did'nt. Infact it was somehow Callie's fault that she lost her leg) _ I lost Mark, you almost died, YOU WEREN'T ON THE FREAKING PLANE! You wanted the street cred, the badge of honor, the warrior wounds. Then great! Stick out your leg and I will go grab a bone saw and let's even the score!

Arizona bursted into tears as soon as the words left her mouth cause she realised immediately that she did'nt meant those words. Callie stared at her in shock.

Callie : It always comes back to the leg.

Arizona : (_To this she asked herself why she could'nt get over the plane crash , why she lost her leg. The answer to which was it's cause Callie decided to cut it off, Callie broke her promise. ) _ I trusted you more than anything. More than anyone in my life and you decided to cut it off…

Callie: TO SAVE YOUR LIFE!

Arizona : (_She did'nt asked for this version of life...this life where she ended up destroying the thing she love the most, loosing herself, loosing her baby) _ YOU DIDN'T LOSE ANYTHING! I did. I did.

Callie : Apparently, I lost you.

*****_One of the most heartbreaking scenes of season 9 handsdown. I don't have words to explain the perfection with which it was enacted. I still get chills down my spine everytime I watch it. Bow down !****_

Season 10

Season 10 focused on the aftermath of Arizona's infidelity, the effect it had on both Callie & Arizona, and above all their relationship. Most people wonder throughout these season 9 & 10 that why did'nt they apologized ? Why Callie never apologized for deciding to amputate Arizona's leg ? Why Arizona never apologized for cheating on Callie ? - Really ? Well sorry is not exactly the word to be used here. This was not some spilled on coffee or forgotten anniversary that could have been patched up with a sorry. This was a broken promise & a broken vow. 'Sorry' could'nt have fixed it, infact it would have been an insult to each others feelings.

Season 10, Episode 1 & 2

A broken promise scooped the life out of Arizona and a broken vow scooped the life out of Callie.

_"In life only one thing is certain, apart from death and taxes: No matter how hard you try, no matter how good your intentions, you are going to make mistakes. You are going to hurt people. You are going to get hurt. And if you ever want to recover, theres really only one thing you can say...Forgive and forget. That's what they say. It's good advice, but it's not very practical. When someone hurts us, we want to hurt them back. When someone wrongs us, we want to be right. Without forgiveness old scores never settle. Old wounds never heal, and the most we can hope for is that someday we'll be lucky enough to forget"_

Infidelity is a bitter pill. It's the most horrible mistake one could ever make. But the thing with infidelity is that it never looks like a mistake, it always looks like a blunder. It always feels like that the person deliberately hurted us, even when it's not true. And when that happens, we do, what we should never do. We hurt them back.

It was hard on Callie, the betrayal shooked her to the core, it took every ounce of hope she ever had in love. Love has always been the only thing real for her and love turned out to be the only thing that killed her alive, THRICE. So, she was done, done with the people she loved the most, trusted the most, who keep on tearing her apart. She was done with love. It was just too much, going through the same pain again and again, so she gave up. Without much thinking, in a heartbeat, she gave up on love, on Arizona, & on their relationship. She took off her wedding ring that bounded her to her relationship & she took off her necklace that bounded her to Arizona.

㈟6Arizona knew that she screwed it up. She screwed it up big time. But the depth of damage that has occured was yet to dawn on her. The first blow came with Callie declaring it infront of everyone that Arizona slept with someone else. The second one came with Callie insulting Arizona's efficiency as a surgeon infront of an intern . The blows kept on coming & Arizona took it all in utter silence, afterall she's the bad guy in the picture here, she deserved it. Even she thought that she deserved it. But she still did'nt stopped from trying to reach out for Callie. She kept on trying for atleast, atleast a conversation. No. She did'nt tried to cram an apology down Callie's throat, because she knew that it would agitate her more. She took all the blames gracefully because she knew that this was what would ease out Callie's pain. Arizona believed that this was one of the hard times for their relationship and if they have each other, then they can get through it.

The final installment of damage came when Arizona walked into an empty house with half cleared out dressers and drawers. It was at that moment, when the real depth of damage finally dawned on her. The panick in her voice when she screamed Callie's name to a void house said it all. She did'nt expected it. What was more unnerving for her was that Callie took off with Sofia. The fear,the panick that she might loose her child, her family took the form of anger when she figured out Callie's at MerDer mansion. She marched right in there full on rage. Arizona started the arguement for Sofia and Callie ended up reminding her how she never wanted a child. Arizona reminded her how she never wanted a marriage and Callie ended up calling their marriage a mistake.

But since she's the bad guy and she knew that she's the one who screwed it all up, so the very next day Arizona apologized to Callie for her behaviour saying that she agree that Callie should be mad at her. Callie on her part dismissed her apology and told her that she would be staying at Meredith's place and that she ain't returning home and also that Arizona will now onwards get to see Sofia every second consecutive night until a real schedule is worked out. (Ouch !). Arizona is shocked, but nope she still did'nt complained, because there's part of her that's yelling at her that she deserves this. The pain that's coming with all this is hurting, yes, but it's also calming. And then at the end of the day, when the guilt, the pain, the hurt and above all the loneliness finally crepts on her, Arizona again makes her way towards the MerDer mansion. This time she's there with a request, a begging, and a plea to see Sofia. To have a moment with her daughter. She's literally tearing apart, so much that even Derek & Cristina could feel her pain. Callie's obviously still agonized, the effects of deception and betrayal is fresh and strong on her, so she immediately shoots her pleadings down, calling it all an act but with Cristina's pursuation she let Arizona have a moment with her daughter. Overwhelmed with emotions and tears Arizona just holds Sofia closer in her lap and cries.

_"Do you have what it takes? If your marriage is in trouble, can you weather the storm? When the ground gives way and your world collapses, maybe you just need to have faith. And trust that you can survive this together. Maybe you just need to hold on tight. And no matter what, don't let go." - Meredith Grey _

Season 10, Episode 3 - 5

_"Grief may be a thing we all have in common, but it looks different on everyone. It isn't just death we have to grieve. It's life. It's loss. It's change. It's the damage we called on ourselves. And when we wonder why it has to suck so much sometimes, has to hurt so bad. The thing we gotta try to remember is that it can turn on a dime. That's how you stay alive. __**When it hurts so much you can't breathe, that's how you survive. By remembering that one day, somehow, impossibly, you won't feel this way. It won't hurt this much.**__ Grief comes in its own time for everyone, in its own way. So the best we can do, the best anyone can do, is try for honesty. The really crappy thing, the very worst part of grief is that you can't control it. The best we can do is try to let ourselves feel it when it comes. And let it go when we can. __**The very worst part is that the minute you think you're past it, it starts all over again. And always, every time, it takes your breath away**__" - Grey 's Cast_

㈟6Few days have passed. Arizona has come up with a strategy. She has requested Callie to seek advice on their relationship with her from a therapist. She dresses up in what's probably Callie's favourite colour, gets a new haircut and grooms herself (_it's probably one of the most saddest thing I have ever seen). _Callie is still struggling with her emotions that are only hurting her. Not sure whether she should risk opening her heart again.

After a day full of patients and board meetings, Arizona sits alone in a therapy waiting room. She lights up like the sun when she sees Callie walk in. That makes it all the more devastating when Callie finally opens up. Callie acknowledges what Arizona can't bear to admit. They weren't happy. Or at least Arizona wasn't. The feeling of betrayal is too strong right now for Callie to stand by Arizona's side, however love however doesn't just disappear when a heart is broken. Even when we give up on love, love doesn't give up on us, not completly. Sure, anger and resentment can fill the cracks, but love is stronger than all of that. Love is why Callie then encourages Arizona to seek out help on her own. Deep down, Callie knows what Arizona did wasn't about her. It was a temporary solution for Arizona. A misplaced attempt at healing. Arizona is terrified, She pleads for one conversation and tells Callie that she needs her. Callie knows that she does, and with a painfully heavy heart, walks out. For Callie, this is the first big step in self-preservation. Arizona looks like she's drowning from the inside, and in a way she is. She has been for a long time. She needs help, she needed that from the moment the plane crash happened and now it just hit her that Callie won't be there for her anymore. It's all shattering and devastating because those promises that Callie made, that held her together everytime she was about to fall apart actually gave away when she falled apart for real. It meant everything to her, and it all turned out to be a lie.㈟6

_"It's easier to be alone. Because what if you learn that you need love and then you don't have it? What if you like it and lean on it? What if you shape your life around it and then it falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage. It's like dying. The only difference is death ends. This? It could go on forever." - Meredith Grey_

Days go by. A gala fund raiser was organised to lure in the Richie Rich 's of corporate world to get some heavy donations to mend the damages from the 'perfect' storm. Callie & Arizona both made their way to the gala but one look on Callie's face tells Arizona that Callie is disgusted with her being there, so she makes her way out of it to hide and cry in her loneliness. While Callie spend the rest of her night telling people that Arizona died in the plane crash (really?), Arizona spend her night drooling over her miseries, getting drunk with April ( really ? Kepner ? Of all people ?).

Then came another night when in realisation to re invest in herself, Callie throws Arizona out of their house.

➡ I get it. People hurt you, you hurt them back. But then how are you any different from the people that hurted you ? No. Arizona did'nt deserved forgiveness. She did'nt asked for mercy, She never asked for forgiveness, because she knew she did'nt deserved it. But what she deserved was compassion. She. Deserved. Compassion. Not because of the realisation that she made a mistake, but because she made a mistake days after she lost her baby, because she fall apart when there was basically no ground beneath her to stand upon. Now she could have gotten that Compassion if she would have been The George or The Erica but she was The Arizona. She was the third one to break Callie's heart, so nope she did'nt got any. Arizona in a way also took the fall of what George & Erica did to Callie. What she got was more insult, more pain, more hurt. I'm not comparing Callie's love for Arizona to anyone elses, no, it's beyond boundaries, her love for Arizona is even beyond life and that's the major reason why the deception hurted her so much.

In an attempt to gather her broken self, to take steps towards self preservation, Callie unintentionally hit Arizona, where it hurted her the most. She destroyed Arizona's self esteem, her self respect, her pride. Did Arizona complained ? No. Infact she took all the blames that Callie has to offer head strong. Partly because she knew it's what she deserved and mostly because she knew it's the only way to ease out the pain she has caused to Callie . Wanna talk about love ? Arizona did'nt gave up on love. You only swallow your pride for love, nothing else. She embraced it all in utter silence only for love. She fucked it all up. True. But she did'nt fuck off. She did'nt bailed. She did'nt ran away. She stayed right there where Callie left her (more on it later). Now when Callie made her way out of their relationship, she made sure that there's no one left in Arizona's corner. It was unintentional. But it did happened. Cause everytime Callie took out her rage, she took it out in public. From exposing Arizona's Infidelity to ending their relationship, From calling her dead to kicking her out of their apartment, Callie did it all in public. Again did Arizona complained ? Did she pounced back ? Did she defended her grace ? NO ! Because she knew it's the only thing that's bringing them peace. So was Arizona completly unaffected with it ? No, because when she got disgraced in public, she lost all her friends (not that she had any real friends). Everyone around her, whom she thought were her friends had the look of either pity or disgust in their eyes for her. She became that 'cheating wife' of the hospital, whom anyone can insult. Alex had the privileges, I agree, but Owen ? Kepner ? Nope ! Now ask yourself why there was no one to support her when Callie kicked her out of their apartment. Why she had to check in into an hotel room ?

They Loved Each Other & Then They Destroyed Each Other ! They are just the same !

Season 10, Episode 6 & Episode 7

When Callie & Arizona got away from each other, they both took different routes towards self preservation. For both of them, the world has turned upside down. For Callie, well the deception took out her faith in love completly. For Arizona, well her whole life turned out to be a big lie. The woman she loved the most, was not in love with her anymore. The place she used to call home, did'nt belonged to her anymore. There was a schedule she gotta follow to see own her daughter (_and people say, she had it easy ?). _But she still did'nt bailed. No, she did'nt imagined an universe in which Callie would forgive her, still she did'nt ran away. Infact she was the only one in their relationship holding on to a hope that things might get better someday ( _The necklace & the ring were still there). _Arizona gave Callie what she was not given, she gave her time. Time to think. Time to decide whether she still wants Arizona or not. Whether their marriage is worth a second chance or not. She did'nt gave her hope, because on her part, Arizona was not sure whether Callie would be interested in her rediscovered self.

While Callie set out her journey towards finding herself, reinvesting in herself, drowning herself in work, remembering how easy and uncomplicated life used to be and trying to reach there.

Arizona set out a journey towards self realisation. Obviously, there would have been moments of soul searching where she would have asked herself million times why it all happened ? The answers would have been simple, it was all because she never felt complete in her ownself. So she set out a journey towards finding completeness in her incomplete self. Obviously it was not an easy one, infact it was painful & lonely. Lonely as hell. So when someone offered her a little concilation, she did'nt avoided it. But since it was all too overwhelming at the same moment, so she did what we all do when we look out for reconciliation, she somewhat abandoned her emotions. The guilt, the remorse, the emotions that cause pain, she somewhat abandoned them. She tried to feel a little less, care little less, because it was cause of these emotions that she was a mess right now. Also, she could'nt bear to open up her heart to those emotions again that ended up ruining her. So she choose to use her heart a little less.

_"There are times in our lives when love really does conquer all: exhaustion, sleep deprivation, anything. And then there are those times when it seems like love brings us nothing but pain._

_We are always looking for ways to ease the pain. Sometimes we ease the pain by making the best of what we have. Sometimes is by losing ourselves in the moment and sometimes all we need to do to ease pain is... call a simple truce." -Meredith Grey_

Days turned weeks, weeks turned to months. Callie & Arizona reached a point where they could'nt even stand each other. They fought. Now it would have been an good thing if they could have fought over what went wrong. But instead they fought over the difference of opinion, something people usually respect in each other. It mainly involved Sofia, the different things they wanted for her et al. But then eventually they called it a truce, a little bit atleast. It was'nt for love, it was'nt for affection. It was for their daughter Sofia. It was the first thing they agreed upon in months, which was basically a Halloween costume for Sofia.

Now when the first truce happened. It did'nt happened for love. They did'nt moved towards each other. They just reached a point where they could just manage to stand each other.

_"It's a little bit horrifying just how quickly everything can fall to crap. Sometimes it takes a huge loss to remind you of who you care about the most. Sometimes you find yourself becoming stronger as a result; wiser, better equipped to deal with the next disaster that comes along. Sometimes, but not always." - Meredith Grey_

Arizona & Leah _(Yup ! Choking on some mcvomit right here !)_

_"What we rememeber at the end of most days are the losses. What we lay awake at night replaying is the pain we caused or failed to cure. The lives we ruined or failed to save. So the experience of practicing medicine rarely resembles the goal. The experience too often is ass backwards and upsidedown. I think it's better to have someone, even if it hurts, even if it's the most painful thing you have to do, even if it's the most painful thing you've ever had to do. I think it's better to have someone." - Meredith Grey _

There were two scenario to Arizona and Leah 's fling. And just like Lauren, we were just too disgusted with Murphy to even look at her character. Well she was wrecking our ship afterall, we're not to be blamed here. Before I go on to those scenarios, I would like ya'll to answer yourself few questions. Why Leah thought that she could have a fling (or as in her mind, something more) with Arizona ? Why she thought that she could get into a relationship with a married woman ? How she knew that Arizona was lonely? Okay maybe these are not the points to be considered in their fling but you can't deny that these are valid points.

Lauren & Leah both made their way into Arizona's life. She did'nt asked for them, she did'nt looked out or searched for them. THEY made their move towards her. While one took over her Vulnerablity, other took over her loneliness. Now i'm not gonna compare Leah to Lauren, because obviously Leah was better. Lauren was basically only interested in a piece of ass, she never bothered or cared a damn. Leah on the other hand looked out for some companionship & she was also deeply interested in Arizona, she cared for her.

The first scenario is what comes easily to us. It's one thing when you choose loneliness and it's a whole different thing when the loneliness chooses you. Because you are not asking for those creepy lonely moments, it's what you are pushed into. Arizona was lonely, so when Leah offered her some relieving way out, she did'nt avoided it. Many agree that if she had an shoulder by her side to cry upon, she would'nt have looked up to an bed to hop on. It's quite true and it also kind of explains her lack of emotional connection to Leah.

The second scenario is a bit twisted and crazy (and might also be something I made up in my mind, but it does occur to me this way ). Well to start with, you gotta look at Leah's character to understand this one. Alex, Arizona & Leah, all three have few characteristics in common (is that a brick I picture coming my way ?). They don't open up to other people much, they don't easily put their trust in others, not unless they are sure enough that they could count on the shoulder they are leaning upon. When Arizona saw Leah putting her trust in her, she saw a bit of herself in Leah, a part that asked for compassion. She gave Leah what she never got, she gave her compassion. Leah was straight, she needed someone to held her through this new feelings that were crepting on her, help her through her transitions in her sexuality. At that moment Arizona gave Leah what she asked from her. It also kind of explains the lack of emotional connection on Arizona's part and too much attachment on Leah's part. (Also, if this is not the scenario, then Leah Murphy better write down a book on 'How to go bisexual from straight in 60 seconds' !)

_"Pain, it comes in all forms. The small twinge, a bit of soreness, the random pain, the normal pains that we live with everyday. Then there's the kind of pain you can't ignore. A level of pain so great that it blocks out everything else; makes the rest of your world fade away until all we can think about is how much we hurt. How we manage our pain is up to us. Pain. We anaesthetize, ride it out, embrace it, ignore it... and for some of us, the best way to manage pain is to just push through it. Most of the time pain can be managed, but sometimes the pain gets you when you least expect it, hits way below the belt and doesn't let up. Pain, you just have to fight through, because the truth is you can't outrun it, and life always makes more." - Meredith Grey _

_**** Yes! When it happened it was disgusting but honestly speaking when I think about it again, the first word that comes to my mind is "big deal". I mean each and every doctor in GSMH looked out for reciprocity when they were pushed to loneliness, Callie included. But when Arizona did that, it was like world war. The words people started using for her ranged from everything horrible to everything disgusting. Even the hardcore Arizona lovers wanted to tag it as her 'player image' ( female version of Mark Sloan ?!), which was basically more horrifying. It was definitely nothing like that. I'm not saying that I ship them. Ewww ! No ! I'm just saying that it was "nothing". Not worth any emotions. ****_

Season 10, Episode 8 (The End)

Like said previously Callie & Arizona reached a point in their relationship where they don't throw bricks at each other anymore . But they still had't reached a point where they can look at each other, so they became ex (ouch !) .

_"It's not always easy to speak your mind, sometimes you need to be forced to do it. Sometimes, it's better to just keep things to yourself, play dumb, even when your whole body is aching to come clean. So you shut your mouth, keep your secret, and find other ways to keep yourself happy." - MG_

㈟6The muffin woman (Owen's new girl Emma) is in GSMH for a job opening. Arizona has pitched her to the board for the opening and Callie's the one who'll be taking her interview. Well it's a ploy on Callie & Owen's part who just wanna check out whether Emma has the characteristics that Cristina lacked (you know whether she's into family and kids). So, Callie's all amped up to find out whether this new woman in her friend's life could bring him the happiness or not. Arizona introduces Emma to Callie and Callie who's all buzzing with excitement, without acknowlodging Arizona, immediately walks off with Emma to start the interview. Obviously Arizona & Emma have no idea about Callie & Owen's game plan. With all pure intentions to help a friend, Callie channelised many way too much personal questions towards Emma. Starting with her personal details of her past marriage to her notion on having kids, Callie did'nt refrained asking any personal details. But it all came as a misconception to Emma, she thought that Callie's interested in her & that's why she's flirting. It all made her nervous & later her nervousness made it's way to Arizona. Now because she thought that Callie was flirting with her, so she straight away asked Arizona about their divorce. The twitch of pain when Emma asked that question was written all over Arizona's face, she holds on to her necklace (the hope that one day Callie might be able to forgive her) before answering that they are sort of separated _"we're sort of separated I guess" _(She's still not admitting to herself that they are apart) . Then Emma throws in another question, she asks whether they are seeing other people. And the pain on Arizona's face gets replaced by confusion, and it hits her that Callie might have moved on, that she must have started seeing other people. So in utter confusion she answers it with _"we are_". Emma then senses Arizona's discomfort and apologies for asking personal questions, in her defence she blurts out that how her interview with Callie was way too intimate and personal. The confusion on Arizona's face finally gets replaced by what looks like a twinge of jealousy as the realisation hits her that Callie has moved on from her.

Arizona knew what she have with Leah is nothing for her but when it finally settles on her that Callie might be involved with someone else, that she's seeing other people, that she has moved on, it gets painful her. And then she gives up on Callie, she gives up on her last hope to ever get Callie's forgiveness by taking off her necklace (Super Ouch !).

_"So, how do you beat the odds when it's one against a billion? You stand strong, keep pushing yourself past all rational limits and never let yourself give up. But the truth of the matter is, despite how hard you try and fight to stay in control, when it's all said and done, sometimes you're just out numbered." - MG_

Even through all this, She did'nt gave up on love. She still did'nt gave up on her love for Callie. (more on it coming soon). She never let that love die.

Season 10, Episode 9 (End is the new begining

_**** Exceptional performance by Sara Ramirez, she completly owned every scene with her detailed expressions and amazing acting abilities. Jessica Capshaw nailed it too. The emotional scenes were potrayed so efficiently & convincingly by her. Both completly held us with their magnificient performance. _

_I'm skipping the flashbacks because I already discussed them earlier. And since this episode happened in tit bits, so i'm also gonna go in tit bits. This was one of the most detailed episode, it has many minor details, so if you wanna do justice to this episode then watch it with it's intricate details. No, not just the connections it had to the beginning of the Calzona relationship, you know bathroom & butterflies, nope not just that. It had many other things too. Callie did'nt showed up at the end at Arizona's door just cause she got overwhelmed by Papa Torres 's words of wisdom. There were many tiny instances of self realisation too that motivated her._

_**"The ties that binds us are sometimes impossible to explain. They connect us even after it seems like the ties should be broken. Some bonds defy distance and time and logic; Because some ties are simply... Meant To Be.. "**__ - Meredith. Grey_

Callie & GSMH are being sued by Travis Reed, an Olympics athelete for post operation infection that ended claiming both his legs. Travis wanted Callie to do an risky brand new procedure (Peterson hip joint) on him, but during the surgery his body went into cardiac shock, so Callie had to close him up with a lost lab pad still inside him. PostOp, his legs started turning grey plus he also developed an heart condition. Cristina wanted to work on the heart first, Callie wanted to work on the leg first. The infection got worst and Callie had to end up amputating both his legs, which were basically his whole career. Callie doesn't want to settle as she is sure the lab pads did'nt caused the infection (which is actually true), so the battle made it's way to courtroom. Her lawyer, suggested her to dress up for her date at court, suit, skirt, wedding ring, PANTYHOSE etc.

Pantyhose

Callie is literally having a bad time, the kind of time that messes up with head. She's being subjected to public scrutinity without any mistake on her part. So, when during her pantyhose shopping spree, when she fails to find the basic nude pantyhose, she gets irritated and then when the sales girl instead of helping her out tries to lure her into shimmer & other sort of pantyhose, Callie literally descends on her. Callie immediately realises that she did'nt mean to hurt the sales girl, and then with a tiny flashmob, bits of her life with Arizona flashes infront of her, parts of her life when they were together, parts when she hurted Arizona. And then it settles on her, that even though if it was unintentional, she has hurted Arizona too.

Apartment 502

Arizona walks in to take Sofia with her, as Callie will be busy with her lawsuit date. When she finds a anxious Callie in somewhat fluid condition, she inquires whether she's ok or not. Callie tells her that she doesn't have any idea on how she should feel. Then Arizona extends her support.

_Arizona - I know you're supposed to have Sofia tonight but if it'd be easier for you to spend some time alone or if you'd rather not be alone, you just tell me and whatever you need, that's what we'll do._

_"Okay, thanks,"_ Callie's amused and surprised. Surprised because of the recent realisation that she has somehow also hurted Arizona & yet Arizona is extending her support to her.

Then Arizona's eyes dart to Callie trying to get her pantyhose on and her eyes settles on the wedding ring. Callie misreads Arizona's confusion and snaps a _"What?"_ at her. Arizona is confused cause she could'nt understand why would Callie put her wedding ring back on, so she queries _"You put your ring back on"_ . And then Callie realises that Arizona's intentions are like always genuine, so she reluctantly answers _"They told me to"_ . Then Callie sees the crestfallen side of Arizona and there's some more realisation that Arizona is still looking out for her.

Bathroom

The prosecution is going full on rogue on Callie, twisting the real story of Travis's surgery in every possible way to make Callie look guilty and unlikeable. Her collegeues are aren't also exactly helping the matters. So to gather herself and to change her torn pantyhose she makes her way to the bathroom.

_( There's no universe in which i'll buy into that Arizona just happened to pop in there. She made her way in there)_

Arizona walks into the bathroom and then retracts her path just in case Callie may find it uncomfortable. But Callie stops her and then because of the recent realisation that Arizona is still looking out for her, she vents out to her. Arizona is all concerned with Callie's distress, so like a 'good man in a storm', she offers Callie a quick relief - _"I think I have something that can make u feel better. So Sofia drew this in the car this morning. And she said it's a jellyfish and a rainbow mermaid. I'm not sure which one is which, but u should have it. Then when you feel like screaming again you can look at the jelly fish and it'll calm u down" ._ It worked. Callie looks at the drawing and then at Arizona, sees the sincerity and concern & it calms her down. But then she's all surprised with why Arizona would still be concerned about her and it confirms her previous realisation, so she with utmost sincerity says thanks to her. Arizona accepts it with silence. She doesn't opens up. In a way she's not allowing 'those emotions' to come up to her again.

Finally when Arizona notices Callie's rhinestone butterfly pantyhose, she quips about it, make a sweet and funny remark and just as simple as that she makes Callie laugh, she laughs with her. And it brings in one more realisation for Callie, it makes Callie realises how happy they used to be, how Arizona can still be the person that could make her happy.

Jesus Papa Torres is in town

Carlos Torres is in town. In town to back up his daughter through this tough time. Like any other grandpa, Carlos after having some smushy moments with his daughter looks out for his grandbaby and then Callie opens up to him about Arizona's betrayal. Tells him how everyone just cheats on her. Carlos extends his support & helds his emotional daughter with sweet and tender words. But later when Arizona stops by to take Sofia again, Carlos just looses it. As soon as Arizona lefts, he speaks up.

_Carlos - Your mother and I have been married for 38 years, you think its been easy? You don't think we've had troubles? _

_Callie - Don't start comparing_

_Carlos - What happened to her good man in a storm baloney? It's not right. She should be here everyday trying to fix this _

_Callie - Its not like that_

_Carlos - The hell it isn't. She hurt you, Now she's too much of a coward to face you now she's running away ..._

_Callie - No Shes not running away. I kicked her out. It was my choice to split up, it was mine, so let's just drop it, okay?_

Callie was not admitting it to herself but she knew it all the time that Arizona is not running away. She's not bailing on her or their relationship. So when she admits it to Carlos it becomes one more realisation for her. Now Papa Torres is is'nt exactly in the mood to drop of the topic, so he goes again, _" You chose to break up your family? Did u even try to work things out ?" ._ And it eventually partly settles on Callie, that it's she who did'nt tried.

Mail delivery

Callie has taken a stand for herself where she has explained clearly to the Jury that the infections that claimed Travis's legs were'nt because of the lab pads. Nor her decisions to operate on his legs first were a reason either. But when she gets home that day with Meredith she founds an old mail (3weeks prior to Travis's surgery) from the clinical research people that invented the Peterson hip replacement procedure, which says that they had halted the research because of instances of postop infections caused by pseudomonas bacteria. And Callie realises that she has made a terrible mistake. Unintentional yes but still she has made a mistake that ended up with amputation of an Olympic athlete's career. Her mistake was that she went ahead to do the surgery even when she had'nt heard from the people who invented the procedure. And here comes in another realisation, that how a little boost to ego & self esteem can screw people's judgement.

The verdict

Callie was being sued for post op infections that might have occured because of the sponge she left in Travis 's body, which was not the scenario, so she won the case. But deep down she knew, she was somewhat guilty. That she made a mistake. The guilt was hurting her, eating her alive. She could'nt even make herself smile when she won the case because she knew she made a mistake. And then came one more realisation, that even if you are the one making the bad call, the bad move, the bad decision, it doesn't means it's easy on you. It's not easy to live with the guilt. To know that you could have done better. But like Callie is sorry for Travis and still believes that being sorry is not enough, the same goes to Arizona. Arizona being sorry for what happened is still not enough for her.

_"We've all done things we aren't proud of. I understand that. I know nobody's perfect. But how do you live with it? How do you get up every morning and face the world knowing you could have done better?... That you should have done better. Is being sorry enough? Can an apology actually heal our wounds, ease our pain? Can it undo the hurt that we've caused?"_

Papa Torres Again

Papa Torres still wants Callie to give another chance to her marriage. He reminds her the vows she took, "_When things get hard. You work harder_". But Callie is still not ready. For her, Arizona being sorry is not enough. So Daddy genius brings in a special secret for Callie from his past that he cheated on his wife, way before Callie was born. And that he & her mother were able to rise above it because they tried to. Because her mother did'nt gave up on their marriage, because her mother believed that their relationship was stronger than ONE mistake. And then Papa Torres gave Callie his final words of wisdom _"Now this thing with Arizona and you might never work out. You might not be able to fix it. But how will you ever know if you never try?"_

And it worked. Worked on Callie to give her marriage a second chance. So she made her way to Arizona's door.

_Callie - You did something impulsive and you were thinking about yourself...it seemed right at the time, and you made a mistake. One mistake. I did something like that today. Look I have something to ask. And uh, you should probably take sometime to think about it. I don't need an answer tonight but I'd like to know, if you'll come home. _

The shock on Arizona's face was quite literal. What Callie was proposing was shocking and confusing for her at the same time. It did'nt settled on her in one go, she had to process it to understand what exactly Callie asked. And the crest of her confusion fell on Murphy. Arizona just looked out for a moment alone to process what just happened, she basically misjudged her need to be alone and asked Murphy to leave in what's probably the most coldest way.

_"We have no control what so ever over our own hearts. Condition can change without warning. Romance can make the heart pound just like panic can. And panic can make it stop cold in your chest. It's no wonder doctors spend so much time to keep the heart stable, to keep it slow, steady, regular to stop the heart from pounding out of your chest from the dread of something terrible or the anticipation or something else entirely." - Meredith Grey _

Season 10, Episode 10

_**** I'm true to myself, and i do hate myself for having this feeling, even if it was for a second. But this was a point where I wanted Arizona to give atleast a rat's ass about her doomed self respect. To atleast let Callie realise what she throwed away with open hands. But once again she out did herself when it came to love. There was a reason why I was saying that she did'nt gave up on love, love was the reason why she swallowed her pride & put her love above her self respect. Not that she got anything promising to act upon. Callie did'nt went there saying "You were not yourself" or "We made mistakes", she said "You were thinking about yourself" and "You made a mistake". She did'nt went there with love or forgiveness, she went there with Compassion and it was enough for Arizona. It was all she ever asked for, so she went back, IN A HEARTBEAT. If this does'nt speaks of love for you, I don't know what will. Love was the reason Callie found Arizona exactly where she left her. If Arizona would have moved on (as many presumed with her latest fling) then Callie would'nt have found her there. Arizona would'nt have returned to Callie. But she did. Because she was right there where Callie left her. ****_

When love took a backseat for Callie, what took it's place at first was hate, hate towards Arizona for destroying her faith in love. And when that hate disappeared, what took it's place is affection. Affection towards the love they once shared, affection towards Arizona, affection towards their relationship.

_"There are times when even the best of us have trouble with commitment, and we may be surprised at the commitments we're willing to let slip out of our grasp. Commitments are complicated. We may surprise ourselves by the commitments we're willing to make. True commitment, takes effort, and sacrifice. Which is why sometimes, we have to learn the hard way, to choose our commitments very carefully." - Meredith Grey _

Arizona's back. When Callie gave her the second chance, she did'nt let that slip by. She took it with all it's probabilities. She always believed that it's all worth trying. Callie on her part is trying to put her faith back, her trust back. She's trying really hard to put her trust back in both Arizona & her relationship. She wants to. She wants to build that trust and faith that was lost. But it's not easy, so she's still a bit reluctant on how much amount of her trust she can put in their relationship in one go. And even if she's putting on that trust, she's hiding it to keep things from getting overboard. They are starting fresh. They are both trying.

㈟6Arizona is back for a week now & gracefully bunking on the couch. She's not exactly thrilled, but happy with the notion of baby steps and starting fresh. Callie's content. Content with the new found level of togetherness they have just reached. Content with all the hope that their relationship has to offer.

There's a latest case in GSMH of a little kid with femur facture. As the lead pediatrics surgeon and the lead orthopedic surgeon Arizona and Callie are working on it respectively. Odds in the situation are that the intern involved in the case is none other than Leah Murphy. Leah's still strong on her feels for Arizona, she's kind of still hanging on to the non existent hope, so she's uncomfortable with the idea of working with Callie. Arizona sensed Leah's discomfort and explained her very neatly and clearly how she should'nt be bothered with all this.

Now, it's always difficult. It's difficult to take that very first step. So, when Callie took that very first step towards Arizona, Arizona respected the effort that Callie put there. She brought in their relationship something that was basically missing since plane crash. She brought in the honesty. Like I said before, there would have been moments of soul searching where Arizona would have asked herself why their relationship fall apart. And I think the first answer was 'Honesty' .

_Arizona - I wanna talk to you about something. I was with someone when we were apart. _

_Callie was surprised & shocked _

_Arizona - I don't think that it was completely out of bounds, we were separated and you kicked me out of the house. _

_The twitch of hurt over the fact that Callie kicked her out of their house was quite visible._

_Callie - Oh so it's my fault?_

_Arizona - There are no faults. I just feel that you should know. We're starting fresh and I wanna be honest with you. I shouldn't have said anything_

_Callie - No, I'm sorry you're right. Thank you for being so very honest._

_Callie's obviously hurt because on her own part, she moved away but she never moved on._

_Arizona - I'm trying... Is there anything you wanna ask me?_

_Arizona was coming clean. She wasn't keeping any lies or burdens on her shoulder that could jeopardize her relationship again._

_Callie - Oh wow uhm no, I don't know, was it once?_

_Arizona - It was more than once._

_Callie - More than twice? More than ten? You know what? I don't wanna know anything about it._

_Arizona - I'm sorry_

_Callie - Is it over?_

_Arizona - Yes, Completely _

_Callie - Okay that's all I need to know_

_Callie was hurt but she also knew that it was not completely Arizona's fault that they parted ways, so she looked upon the bigger picture, the honesty and truthfulness on Arizona's part. And it was sincere for her. Not that she had forgiven Arizona for the infidelity, but the sincerity Callie saw when she looked in those eyes showed her a trustworthy side of Arizona._

_Arizona - You didn't?_

_Callie - What, cheat on you?._

_Arizona - Get involved with anyone?_

_Like I said, there was a part of Arizona that presumed that Callie has moved on (courtesy muffin lady), and she didn't want it to be something that could affect the future of their relationship either._

_Callie - I got involved with myself. I danced in my underwear and tried to remember I used to be a person who had fun._

_Arizona - I'm really trying, Callie. Please. Tell me that you're trying too._

_Callie - I am_

_Then in utmost sincerity, Arizona asked Callie if she can hug her, to which Callie agreed a bit reluctantly, she was not sure whether she should open her heart again or not. The hug was tentative at first but as soon as their heart recognized the touch it craved, it went warm, i missed you's were exchanged. Sweet & tender._

Now, it's one thing to know about your spouse's ex and it's another thing to work with them (Oh Arizona Robbins how did you managed it so easily ?), because it brings in entanglements and unsolicited feelings. When Callie figured out that it was Murphy, with whom Arizona got involved, she kind of lost it. She knew it's gonna complicate things at work for them. Later Callie let her temper reach Arizona & Arizona reacted upon it. They have come a week ahead from where they started and Arizona was not ready to go back to the starting line because of something that was pretty much non existent for her, _"When we got back together, we got back together based on the assumption that we both made mistakes. I can't keep apologising, and you can't keep playing a victim. If you want me back. I'm back. But I'm not here to be your whipping boy" ._ She wanted to go forward, "_If i am back, i sleep in the bed" _and she made it dam clear for Callie. Even Callie understood that they need to go ahead from here.

_"It can be scary to find out you've been wrong about something but we can't be afraid to change our minds, to accept that things are different, that they'll never be the same, for better or for worse. We have to be willing to give up what we used to believe. The more we're willing to accept what is and not what we thought, we'll find ourselves exactly WHERE WE BELONG" - Meredith Grey_

Season 10, Episode 11

_Communication. It's the first thing we really learn in life. Funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words and really start talking the harder it becomes to know what to say. Or how to ask for what we really need._

Callie & Arizona has now crossed the cold shoulder point and so now they are in a very tricky position of their relationship.

When they grew apart from each other, the path they took was an ugly one. They have both said things they didn't really meant but now when they are on the road to recovery, it's not easy to just forget all that has happened & move on, even if they are willing to, even when their whole body is aching to. Callie is yet to open the doors of forgiveness for Arizona. She wants to but she still needs 'something' to forgive Arizona. But they have also reached a point where they are feeling content after a very very long time. True they want to say a lot of things to each other but they also don't want to jeopardize what they have attained after such a long time. They just don't know how to say all those things that they need & want to. So they fight. Fight over basically nothing. They fight because they can't say the things they want to and they are not yet willing to say the things they need to.

㈟6Callie started the brain mapping research project post plane crash with Derek. When she started it, Arizona was her inspiration but when the deception happened it became the medium of her self investment, it became something that she wanted to do for the whole world. The research was in phase one of it's progress when the subject matter of the research, a patient Beckka, who's handicapped, was a bit stubborn with herself and the progress of the research. Her stubbornness was halting the progress of the research and no matter how hard Callie & Derek tried to force her to try harder, she just won't do it. Beckka was unintentionally rude to her husband most of the time and then when once she opens up about how she doesn't wants to behave this way and yet ends up behaving this way, how her incompleteness lets her & her husband down everytime it strikes a chord with Callie. And when Callie sees the side of the husband, who even after being put through miseries, understands his wife and is willing to forgive her each & every behavior, it melts her (& us) and i think she finally gets that motivation ('something') she needed.

THE KISS !

_"For a kiss to be really good, you want it to mean something. You want it to be with someone you can't get out of your head. So that when your lips finally touch, you feel it everywhere."-Alex Karev_

Callie & Arizona had gone through a day where Callie, depressed by Beckka's behaviour had shoot down Arizona's every attempt to strike a conversation. But she had also realised that she needs to open the doors of forgiveness for Arizona. So, when unwillingly they got into a tiff again, Callie let her action speak louder than words. She pulled Arizona in a passionate kiss, which basically left Arizona both shock & surprised. Shocked because obviously she was'nt expecting it, surprised because what it did to her. Now, between the million blame games, there's also a big underlying fact that they both are drawn to each other. They are intimate. They crave that touch, that intimacy they once shared so deeply. So, when the first kiss left them grasping for air, they let themselves give in to each other into more of that. It was not meaningless or just an act of desire. It was the ice breaker. It was Callie's first streak of forgiveness for Arizona. It was Arizona's first ray of hope that things might workout between them.

_"At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, it's usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them. The people that are still with you at the end of the day, those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need."_

Season 10, Episode 12

_****I kind of always knew, that if there's anyone who can undid Arizona than it's Callie. If there was anyone who can tap those emotions that Arizona was shutting inside her than it was Callie . As long as Callie was putting up a fight it was okay for Arizona but when Callie opened the doors of her heart, the doors of forgiveness it undid her. The emotions that she was holding back started overwhelming her.****_

It's April Kepner's wedding day. Kepner & Arizona started their friendship after Callie ended things with Arizona (well nobody gave a crap about them, so they started their friendship by giving crap for each other). It swelled a bit more with time and when April's sister pissed her off, she made Arizona her bridesmaid for the wedding along with Meredith & Cristina. The latest pedes patient in GSMH is a little kid who's been ramed over by a tractor and has sustained severe bone injuries (Page Torres). And in a quest to bring his son ASAP to hospital, his father has made his injuries worse by not waiting for paramedic care. Arizona & Karev realised the moment they laid hands on the case that the father has unintentionally made his son's condition worse. Callie's amped up with the progress of her brain mapping research which is set to start it's phase two with Arizona as the subject matter, the goal being to build a prosthetic leg as responsive as the one Arizona lost. Arizona is not exactly excited about Callie's idea of putting her back together where she had been before she lost the leg. This whole 'we can rebuild you' is hurting her.

Arizona, Alex and Callie are hard at work on the little boy with the spinal injury. When Callie hears that the injury was likely worsened by the father moving him, she comes down pretty hard on the guy. Arizona defends him, and the whole conversation hits close to home for her. _"Sometimes we try to make things better and we have no idea that we are actually causing more pain,"_ . She advises Alex not to tell the boy's father what he may have done .

_Callie's intentions are pure. She started the project because she wanted to build a better responsive prosthetic for Arizona. But to Arizona it's all coming as Callie's need to fix what's broken, as an act of pity. Arizona on her part has learned it in what's probably the most ugliest way that she needs to feel complete with her incompleteness. To feel confident in her new self, the way she's now. She knows that Callie's trying to help her but it also conveys to her that Callie might not be happy with her new self._

Later at the wedding when Callie chirps about celebrating the start of phase two of their research, Arizona's deeply hurt sentiments overwhelm her & she starts tearing apart. When Callie inquires about it, she nicely slips out of it claiming that it's the wedding that's overwhelming her.

_There's a very good reason why I am saying that what Callie have right now for Arizona is affection. Because love lets you see through, it lets you read what's not written. Love was what let Arizona read Callie's dilemma when she was dishelved during the lawsuit. But Callie could'nt see through Arizona's dilemma. _

_Hate, Compassion, Affection, it only comes when love is there, so nope I am not saying that her love has completly disappeared, no, because even when we give up on love, love doesn't gives up on us. So love is there but it's on backseat. It's kind of guarded. Callie is kind of guarding her heart, she's still not there where she can completly put her faith again in love. She's not to be blamed though because love has been the only thing real for her and her faith in love has been destroyed in what's for sure the most heart breaking way._

Finally in proximity of new bff April, Arizona could'nt hold her emotions any longer and she breaks down.

_**"Callie is trying so hard to forgive me and take care of me, and it's driving me crazy. I love her and I want her back and I broke us and I want to fix it, but she wants to fix me. The reason that I cheated that night - someone was attracted to me, and she never knew me before, she only knew me after. And I was enough for her. And Callie she knew me before and she loved me before, and now I feel like I'm not enough. It's not fair, it's not her fault, and I hate feeling this way. And Callie is trying to fix everything, and I'm finally feeling okay the way that I am now. And I'm not sure that Callie will ever make me feel that way..."**_

_Like I said, Arizona learned it the hardest and ugliest possible way that she fall apart because she was'nt feeling complete in her own self. So, she set out a journey towards finding happiness in her own self. Now when she is almost starting to reach there, Callie's attitude towards her is pushing her backwards again. She did'nt gave up on her love for Callie, love is why even through all this she's taking all the blames on herself, love is why she's completly overlooking the miseries Callie put her through. But Arizona did gave up on Callie at a point, so she's not sure whether Callie is still in love with her. Callie's genuine effort of bringing comfort for her is coming as an act of searching the Arizona she was before she fell from the sky to her. She knows that Callie loved her, loved her previous self, her complete self, but now when Callie's trying to help her, she's feeling like that this new version of her is not enough for Callie & that's why she's fixing it. She doesn't know whether Callie will ever be able to love her the way she's now._

What's the problem ?

The problem is lack of honest communication. While one heart is guarding the love, the heart is guarding the truth. It all depends on how honest they can be to each other.

Love is still underlying for Callie. She's still not completly opening her heart to love. She's trying to, but she's still not sure whether to trust Arizona or not. And it's not gonna happen unless she completly forgives Arizona. The complete forgiveness can only be attained after they tap the darkest areas of Arizona's infidelity. After they workout the whys. [The reason Cristina & Owen (yeah everyone's cheater in GSMH) were able to rise above Owen's infidelity was because they opened up about it, they looked for the whys ( why would it happen instead of how could it happen)]. Callie clearly knows that Arizona loves her. So, She needs to restore her own faith in love again and it's only possible through honesty. So yeah communication is indeed needed.

Now this whole honest communication thing is not exactly a easy thing either. Honesty depends on truth and anyway you slice, truths gonna hurt, it's gonna bring in miseries. So, the part where they are avoiding honest communication is also because they have reached peace after a long time and so they are avoiding the miseries. Also the truth is majorly on Arizona's shoulder. She needs to tell Callie how she feels. Infact it's all on Arizona, while she has truth on one shoulder, she's got guilt & remorse on the other. She needs to break the silence. Yeah a part of her is afraid that she might loose Callie if she speaks her heart out, but she needs to realise that she'll definitely loose her if she doesn't. So yeah, communication is needed.

_"The truth is painful. Deep down nobody wants to hear it, especially when it hits close to home. Sometimes we tell the truth because the truth is all we have to give. Sometimes we tell the truth because we need to say it out loud to hear it for ourselves. And sometimes we tell the truth because we just can't help ourselves. Sometimes, we tell them, because we owe them at least that much."_

WHAT NEXT ? WHERE DO THEY GO FROM HERE ?

⏩ Well the worst case scenario is that they do what they did earlier and what they are doing now. That they try to rise above all the miseries with fake passive enthusiasm, hiding from each other, fighting with their selfish pains. This will only take them downhill again and this time there might be no returning back. It's what we're dreading the most.

⏩ The best case screnario is that they learn from their past mistakes, let their guard down and bring in the honesty & communication. The pain & miseries that will come along with it will be totally worth what they'll be attaining. Also this might open the doors to the discovery of Arizona's issues. The whole PTSD thing will surely lighten the burden of guilt on Arizona & might also help Callie to provide that complete forgiveness. Further it will also help them to put behind every trauma that they went through not by shutting it inside but by letting it go.

⏩ The magical case scenario is where my faith in Grey's writers lies. Where everything unfolds itself. The truth that Arizona is guarding, the love that Callie is guarding if could just come out on it's own. You know a situation in which they could be scared enough to loose each other again that they let that guard down, Express their heart out. Yeah that would be worth all the miseries that we have been put through as fans that would be worth my money.

_"Just when we think we've figured things out, the universe throws us a curve ball. So we have to improvise, we find happiness in unexpected places, we find our way back to the things that matter the most. __**The universe is funny that way, sometimes it just has a way of making sure we wind up exactly where we belong."**_


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